Zine #2 has been relaunched as Lycan La Vida Loca on Smashwords it can be downloaded in Kindle, Sony E-Reader, KOBi, Epub, PDF etc… Yay!I
So if you’ve only just come across my blog and you have no idea who I am or who these men I talk about on it are. Lycan La Vida Loca will explain a bit of my personal history and into the complications of my love life.

Photo by Otto Yamamotto
Cc by 2.0
Possibly the most awesome of all my xmas gifts given to me this year.

Something wild, this way comes.
Looking rather pleased with himself and somewhat hungry all the same. And I don’t think it’s food he’s after. He gives off a certain appeal of assured confidence in how he knows, he turns heads.
Something wild this way comes.
Swagger and swing in his walk and eyes that haven’t left mine. He dances up to me, picks me up and spins me around in a tight hug. My red cape flying out around us. I’m dressed as a take on Red Riding Hood you could say – I’m a redhot Hoodlum.
My red and black ensamble consists of a Red hooded cape, red top, skirt with toy gun strapped to my thigh. Utility belt with some other toy weaponry on it. My hugger, is dressed as John Constantine, from the Hellblazer comics. Only he’s chosen to go the Keanu Reevesmovie version.
Black pants, black jacket, white shirt and tie. If you could call that a costume, makes me think he’s going to church, puts me back down and leans in to kiss me. I turn my head so he gets my cheek instead of my mouth and smile back at him.
Mike would fit right in on the land doing manual labor. Like he’d be equally as in place, modeling in a magazine. Scruffy blonde hair, baby blue eyes and a hint of stubble, seems like the lazy man’s signature in un-groomed, cool.
“Mikey, you’re the only guy I know who would dare do that, to an Alpha wolves’ pack mate.”
Mike looks around us quickly.
“Alpha? You’re guy is an Alpha werewolf?” He says sounding a little nervous, his eyes wide.
I laugh. “Yeah, and leader of the Manhattan Pack.”
Mike looks like he’s going to pale or something. He wipes a hand over his mouth.
“Shit. Seriously, you never told me that. Is he here? Is he going to kill me?”
But he’s smiling brightly at me. Of course he dares. He’s a shape shifter, not a werewolf. He isn’t governed by our rules. He doesn’t go for all that structure either.
I laugh back at him.
I met Mikey when we were both twenty one. Holidaying with friends, I ended up at some dank and drug fucked party in the countryside that I couldn’t wait to get away from. But my friends weren’t having any of it, they wanted to stay and try things out. So I was stuck with no way to go back to our lodgings without a massive walk ahead of me.
I figured I was werewolf enough to walk the distance back to our accommodation. What would try and mess with a werewolf?
Only something completely stupid.
So off I went.
I’d barely gotten half way down the first road, when a pick up truck pulled up beside me, offering me a lift back into town. Mikey at the driving wheel. One look and sniff at the scrawny shape shifter, and I figured I had more than a fighting chance if things went wrong. We talked the whole way into town, he walked me to my accommodation, even after the curfew had locked up. Made them open up and made sure I got to my room okay.
After that, we remained friends.
“Seriously babe, you wolves have got to loosen up on the whole, territorial thing. Greeting’s just a greeting. Us shifters do not have such airs and graces.”
I raise my eyebrow at his remark.
“The way you greet women Mikey has been known to be taken as a first, second and last date, all in one. I’m fairly certain you’ve told me numerous stories how much trouble you’ve gotten into over, your…friendliness to the fairer sex.”
Mike scratches his chin and grins back at me, frowning slightly.
“I may have told you one too many stories, when I was drunk. And perhaps, not correctly, I’m not such a bad guy. So uh, where’s this guy you’ve barely told me anything about?”
“He’s parking the car.” I reply.
It has been a long time since we saw each other. And let me tell you, time just agrees more and more with this shape shifter. He might look a little older, but the body has filled out more, the shoulders are broad and strong, he looks content with himself. Not so ill at ease, like he was when we first met, years ago. Before me now is a man that’s more than mother nature intended.
“Parking around here is crap.”
“So shifters are what, better than wolves because you’re what, less restrictive when it comes to greeting old friends, is that what you’re saying?” I ask knowing where I’m leading him with this argument. It’s fun. Like sparring.
“What do you know about shape shifters and their uh,” he waves his hands around searching for a word.
“Culture?” I suggest.
“Lifestyle.” He replies.
“You tried to kiss me on the mouth Michael.”
“Oh, no, you called me Michael, am I in trouble here?” He laughs. “Really didn’t mean to offend. Just wanted a kiss. On the lips.”
“You always want a kiss and that’s what all the other women in here, are for. Besides, we’re too good friends for me to be offended by your flirting.”
He shrugs his shoulders loosely and glances about the place. “Maybe it’s the shape shifter way. To flirt so much. A bit like you wolves and the sex thing.”
“The sex thing?” My eyebrows shoot up again.
He tilts his head down and stares hard at me. “Oh come on, you’re not going to seriously try and deny the whole, sex thing you furballs have going on. How many times have you told me about those Partys and lunar week antics I think you get more than most people get in their lifetime.”
“Hmmm, maybe you don’t quite get it. What it’s like, what it’s about.”
“Well, shifters aren’t like wolves. We’re freer than you guys will ever be.” He smirks and starts guiding me over to the drinks.
“How so?” I ask curiously. He looks at me and purses his lips together before saying “What do you know about shape shifters?” again, cautiously.
“Nothing more than you’ve ever told me really.”
“And right there, should be you’re first clue.” He says as we side up to the bar and grab three drinks. Paris is still, yet to walk into the party.
“What’s that? Don’t believe a word my good friend tells me?”
“No of course not. I tell you stuff, bits of stuff. But not a lot. Nothing major. Cause that’s the shape shifter way. We’re pretty secretive. Helps with the being wild and free.”
“I think you’d be wild, no matter what species you were Mikey.” I laugh, glancing past him, towards the front of the Party.
Paris walks in.
“You know it.” Mike says turning around, following my line of sight.
We both watch Paris stride towards us. Hypnotized by his movement, drawn by his presence, locked by his look. Paris’s garners looks from those around him. It’s like drawing a crowd, without intention. He looks like a regular guy, but the way he carries himself, gives everyone the impression of how not like them he is. My eyes take in the detail of his clothing, the way it moves against his body, how it outlines the man underneath.
Helps that he’s in a Halloween costume. He’s dressed like the assassin from that game, Assassian’s Creed. A look that could not be more him, if he tried. The wolf inside the clothing oozy kick ass presence. Makes me want to start growling low with appreciation for such muscular beauty.
“Whoa. Big fella isn’t he?”
Something wild, this way comes.
“Yeah, I like my wildness contained in werewolf form.” I murmur smiling slowly.
At the best of times during lunar week, werewolves are driven to fulfil their baser desires and needs.
The driving force behind the lunar tidal waves that shock our bodies again and again, are pheromones. Very powerful ones. So it’s not that surprising, when there are times, where we literally can’t keep our paws off one another, Paris and I.
Although to be honest, I’m the one who is worst out of us. He has more control than I think I can muster and the patience almost of a saint, I think sometimes.
But that can be worn down, if you’ve willing to see it through. And if you’re me, the one he desires, considers his.
After our previous night’s efforts, I decided being dragged out of a warm, happy place full of love, bed, was not on. So I trapped Paris to bed for the entire day. We ordered in for food and other than modest sheets covering us, we remain naked.
My teeth want to mark his beautifully smooth skin, I try to sink my teeth a little into the skin on his upper thigh and he chuckles.
“That kind of tickles.”
So I use my tongue to trace my teeth indentations around the marking. Which just makes him groan impatiently at me.
I sweep little moist kisses along his skin, to the sensitive skin between his thighs. My tongue traces a direct line along the side of him, to the top. I look back down at him, over his body as I sink my mouth around him, slowly devouring.
A loud sigh escapes him as his eyes widen, watching, just my mouth, he’s barely noticing anything else, as it moves over him. Hypnotically it repeats the movement.
The slow, languorous movement, of driving pressure through him, is maddening to both of us. But who wants this to stop so suddenly? Neither of us. Because it’s a benefit to both of us, to what we want.
We’ve both got a sole focus here. Mine is to drive him as insane as possible. His is the same, by watching what I’ll do for him, to him. Visual clues to a destination, that we both want to reach, but are in no hurry to get to.
You see, it’s the pheromones. They make me want to continue in some form or other, to touch his skin. It’s an Erotic ambrosia that the moon fuels our minds and that of the werewolves contained within with.
I could touch with my hands, let them skim over all that hard muscle, touch and flick his nipples. Trace the patterns, outlines of muscle, of shape. Or I could rub the curves of my softer body along his, pressing my breasts into his chest. Rub myself against him, without him being in me. Setting off erogenous zones that require as much attention as the rest of either of us. Straining my nipples onto his smooth skin.
Or I could use my mouth.
Taste him as well as touch him with my teeth and tongue. Of course, when I started down this path, it was about the time I wished I had the ability to do a partial shape shift so I could use my werewolf fangs on him. But alas, this beta wolf can not do that. But knows from experience, how turned on she gets, when the Alpha werewolf under her, does that to her.
So I offer my mouth, willing. A supplication to consume his body tenderly. Devouring him, in a moist heat. Paris’s hips jerk upwards slightly with one movement. But I’m not done yet, I want more.
Pheromone addiction or something. Well it’s not me that wants more, not just me. The wolf, his and mine, they’re so close and yet not connected enough. They need each other, I can sense not only his restraint to let me take him as far as he can with this slow ride of sensuality. But other feelings, near the surface, the scent of fur is becoming heavier to me. Mixing more with the amber and almonds I know that is his scent.
The werewolf is on the rise.
It’s pressing at him, to bring on the shape shift. To let it out to find the wolf it can sense within me. The pull of the moon, high in the sky is coursing through both beings. The sound of blood rushing through our ears, is just a small prelude. As the night wears on, our bodies become hotter. The blood driving through us, feeling more like a liquid heat of essential gratification.
It’s the deciding factor in who will win out here. Will it tip the power of the shape shift to the werewolf, so that Paris feels not just compelled to shape shift, but unable not to? This skin will out. It’s the testing ground for conceding all or holding just the slightest bit of him back.
Have I gone too far in straining his patience for so long? My mouth curves into a smile around him, as I plunge deeper.
When can a werewolf ever go too far?
Werewolf seeks freedom
Cascade in lunar light naked
Breaking crushed screams boundless
Werewolves are not known to be prudes when it comes to nudity, or when having sex around other werewolves. But Alpha Werewolves, do tend to get mighty possessive at times, like say when they’re about to be interrupted in the throws of sex with their packmate.
Enter Addison.
“Fuck, make some noise or something next time, would you?”
And yes, it never occurred to him, to knock first.
Addison literally walked into the room we were in, when both Paris and I looked up at him, neither of us stopping the movement of our bodies. But Paris’s hands slipped around my breasts, gripping them, covering them. It’s not like Addison hasn’t seen them before, he’s seen them at least two times before that I can think of. But that’s not really the point.
Paris kept thrusting and started growling at Addison. He doesn’t get annoyed all that often that I’ve seen. I think I just looked a little surprised by the intrusion.
“People were asking.” Addison said shaking his head as Paris’s growl grew louder. His actions even harder. Faster.
I bit my lip.
Addison turned around and walked back out again.
It’s lunar week and we’re normally busily doing each other every night, but this week is different, it’s my birthday week and Paris and I have been all over each other, day and night.
“Now would be the time to remind you what happens if you make noise.” Paris’s throaty voice sounded slightly strained. He’d been hammering me for awhile. Hence why Addison had come looking for us. “If you cry out or groan or even ever so lightly sigh, I’ll be forced to keep this up, even longer. Keep you exactly where I want you, make those knees get friction burns on them while I ride this out.”
Paris was having a hard day of wanting, he’d told me earlier on. It’s what happens during lunar week. The sexual energy around us, in us, it just about explodes. Drives you wild.
We’d had plans, things to do, but he said every time he looked at me, he found himself wanting me. We’d come close to finding a lane way in the city and fucking behind a dumpster, he wanted me so badly. Instead, we managed to scramble to the party we were invitead to and nearby too, and get into it. Snuck off, found a room and he’d actually torn my clothing off me, because, he claims, I wasn’t moving fast enough for him.
Impatient Alpha.
What the hell was I supposed to wear out of there?
Things to figure out later, I guess, I could get through the now. My lip started to hurt from my teeth cutting into it. Even that act, made my lip start to sting, as the skin started to become cut. Blood would swell up from it soon. The thought of which would, only fuel our current round of dealing with our sexual needs, to make the party we were at, more than likely send out a search party for us. Blood, sex and werewolves are a wicked combination. Seriously wicked enjoyment.
As a beta wolf, I’m even more affected by lunar week’s sensations than Paris is and I knew, I couldn’t hold out. Part of me, didn’t want to.
I groaned, deep in my throat. Paris chuckled.
“Poor little wolf.”
I kept groaning. It felt just as good to be able to make noise as it was to be loved by my pack mate. The door to the room opened again and Gabby stumbled in, and stood watching us for a moment. My eyes went to hers and I held contact with them, Paris as before, didn’t stop.
“This wolf, and room is taken.” He panted at her.
Again, I ask myself, what is with the lack of knocking from these werewolves? Alpha’s, I guess they’re not used to being told to wait or what have you.
Gabby blinked slowly. Recognition or something, dawning across her face. She turned around and walked back out, without comment, bumping into another body we could half see through the slightly ajar door. Something was mumbled and the door was closed.
“Oh you wicked, wolf.” I grunted quickly. It was all I could get out, for I was too busy focusing on the sensation of Paris within me to care about anything else.
Walking through the club back to Paris was rather surreal. Everyone was watching and it felt like they were holding their breath. But of course, they weren’t.
Addison and I walked side by side, silently and I walked up to Paris, as he continued to sit at his table, with his warriors, standing, either side of the booth he was in.
He looked incredibly calm and non-plussed, and somewhat happy to see me walking towards him.
There had been a fight, in his presence, and now nobody would get near the Alpha, without going through his personal body guards. Of course, that was my doing, having an all out bitch fight with Gabby. But still, there had to be a standard show of power and hierarchy, really. To remind werewolves, to behave.
To remind the werewolves there, who really called the shots in there and what could happen, if their leading Alpha wanted it too. He was sipping a beer, his eyes watching me over the top of the pint glass as I got closer to him.
He put the glass down and smirked at me. The guards, near his area of the club parted to let me and Addison through, before closing the gap between them again.
Show time.
I’m a good werewolf. For the most part, I know my place.
I flicked my hair over my shoulder again and crawled, very deliberately into the soft red leather booth, around to where Paris sat.
His eyes dropped from my face, to my gapping, half torn top and the vicious claw marks across my skin, to my breasts, hanging heavily in my bra as I crawled towards him on my hands and knees.
His eyes darkened, they were almost black, and glistened with flecks of amber. The man and the werewolf, were turned on. I was turning him on.
He pulled me across himself, so I sat, straddled across his lap.
Just us, in the booth.
“And I thought, you two would play nice together.” He muttered, his arms held me tight, close to him.
“Well, that was nice, wasn’t it?” I asked, angling my head to the side as he ran his nose up the side of my neck, that probably had blood splatter on it.
“Very.” He murmured, as his tongue started languid strokes of my skin, cleaning me of the dried liquid that was across my neck, shoulder and upper chest. I sighed contently.
Post fight recovery, was a very good idea indeed.
He kissed his way down to the start of the claw marks above my breast. His tongue running over the gauged marks in them, making them sting, ever so slightly, as he cleaned the wounds on me. I felt Paris harden beneath me. His werewolf wanted to mate with me, because it was being unbelievably turned on by the flesh and blood show I’d given him.
See for humans, the sex is about the flesh. Visual display of flesh and all it’s pretty glory, gets you the reaction you desire.
For werewolves, it’s the flesh with the blood. Well, it it’s about that when we’re still in human form.
So whilst, I was actually hurt from my girl fight with Gabby, I really was forgetting about how my wounds were being tended too, because like Paris, I was getting turned on by our very public display of erotica in the club.
The music was still going and I assumed behind me, and around us, all had returned to normal again. I don’t really know, because I honestly wasn’t paying attention.
I was kind of liking what was happening to me in Paris’s arms.
With his mouth.
He mouth sucked and moved material out of the way and kissed my skin, his tongue stroked and teased and I began to rock, unconsciously in his lap, against him, sighing with pleasure.
“Maybe we should take this somewhere else.” I murmured at him.
“Maybe I should just take what I want, right now.” He husked back at me. He started to undo the fly on his jeans. I couldn’t say I didn’t want the same thing. Our needs and body tempreture were rising.
His hands on my hips, raised me up and our eyes locked on one another. Nothing else mattered. I’d forgotten where we were, or why I was there, or that I’d been in any kind of altercation. Because in our little private bubble of heat, blood, lust and flesh, there was only us.
Some werewolf females are just bitches and should be treated as such.
It was left up to Jules, to tell Gabby that she couldn’t sit at the Alpha’s table in the club the other night. It didn’t go down well, that the Manhattan Maen Alpha female, was once again, being vanquished from the good graces of the leading pack’s Alpha male, Paris. See, status and hierarchy is a very important thing in a werewolf pack.
Being an Alpha automatically sets you up, as being far more superior and precious and better, than the majority of your fellow werewolves. So seeing a beta wolf, from a neighboring pack, sit at the leading Alpha’s table with him and his hierarchy before her, was never going to go down well with the likes of Gabby’s ego.
Especially since, awhile ago, when I was off the Manhattan scene, she seemed to be filling in the place of ‘female’ required seating at the pack leader’s table. But now I’m back, and that means, she has to go find other places to hang out in the clubs when I’m around. Paris and the boys know, we do not get along.
Werewolves, butt heads with them, if you’re bored or assured of your superiority.
I was in the female restroom when Gabby stormed in, slamming the door behind her, clearly, not taking the news that she was being shuffled around the club to accommodate my presence, all that well.
“Oh it’s you.” She said looking me over as I stood in front of the counter top.
“The feelings mutual.” I muttered back at her, not taking my eyes of the mirror before me. Which was my mistake. It’s like I forgot how feral a pissed of she wolf could be. She marched over to me.
“They treat you like you’re one of us!” She spat in my face, pushing me backwards so I stumbled over my own high heels, off balance slightly and hit the nearest wall.
“You’re not one of us!” She poked me in the chest sharply. “You’re not even an Alpha! I’m the freak’n Alpha female here and you’re the one they treat like the freaking queen of the wolves!” She said moving in front of me so I was backed into the wall with her blocking my escape.
“No, I’m not you. I’m better than you.” I replied smiling at her.
Remember kiddies, the golden rule when werewolves are fighting, is werewolves do not back down. Especially when confronted by pack. Or you know in this case, another, pack wolf bitch.
Her eyes widened, like she couldn’t believe I had the audacity to speak back, let alone throw a massive insult at her. Of course, that just made things worse.
She growled at me, I heard a sharp snap of something and Gabby showed me her fangs. I heard something similar to a popping sound and realized it was muscle and bone breaking. She was shape shifting part of herself, not smoothly or elegantly. But she was getting the job done.
Again, not a good sign, for me.
Gabby grabbed me by the throat with her still very human hand while her right hand slashed at my chest with razor sharp talons for claws. She moved fast. But not so fast I couldn’t see it coming and try and fight her off. She was stronger than me and had me in a bad position to be taken advantage of.
So I decided to play dirty.
You want bitchy, come see me when I’m pissed off. I can roll with the best of them.
I threw up my knee, hard into her body. And as she flinched in sharp pain – yes girls are just as sensitive to getting kicked in the crotch as boys, I threw out a right jab into the side of her face. This caught her off guard and she momentarily loosed her grip on my throat. Which was what I needed to get into a better position of attack, rather than defend.
Werewolf fighting one-o-one, we fight by attacking, not defending.
As she slashed back at my arm with her werewolf clawed hand, I had enough room to move off the wall and throw my elbow into face. She lost all sense of grip on me then as she cried out, her nose bursting with blood. I shoved her aside, into the counter top, which she hit hard, in the side of her body before falling down onto the floor, before she could stop herself.
I kicked her pointedly in the ribs, once, with my heels and got out.
I emerged in the club and it was only then that I realized I was in pain. That I seemed to allow the sensation through my brain haze. The stinging sensation across my arm and chest, was bleeding. I looked down at my top, which was just concealing my breast on one side.
That bitch, she’d cut the shoulder strap off it and had nicely slashed open the left side of my chest, with a wicked streak of claw marks.
When I looked up again, I swear every pair of eyes in that club was on me.
It was the blood.
Fresh blood and every werewolf in the place, could smell it.
My blood, still bleeding, enticing their inner beasts to want out. To want to bear fangs and fur and shred me even more. It’s a natural instinct, a really powerful one, that’s harder than hard to ignore or see reason through. Especially if you’re a werewolf with little self control or weakened will.
Potentially, a very bad situation to be in.
Because bleeding so obviously, out in the open, indicated I was injured. Injury assumes weakness and weakness to werewolves, means prey. Prey gets attacked or eaten.
I could not be seen as prey.
I saw Addison and Jules readying in the distance, throwing hand signals at one another and grabbing their people. But there was still around fifty or so werewolves between them and me. I looked at all the wolves around me, who had stopped whatever they were doing and were now staring at me hungrily, like they were just waiting for a green light to clean me up. Or for some one to make the first move.
So I did the only thing I could do.
I picked another fight, with another wolf. A male wolf nearest too me.
I started throwing punches at him, as hard as I could. Knocking him around, again and again. He threw out a few return punches, but they lacked power. He went down easily enough and I followed him down, continuing to smack his skin with my fists, until my knuckles split open from the hitting. I can not tell you how much that hurts. Werewolves, tough, but not completly oblivious to pain.
Werewolf.
Does not back down.
I couldn’t let this pack, see me as a weakness, or think they could somehow take advantage of me because I’m not one of them, or because I’m just a beta wolf. It was a show of strength, and I think the wolf I laid into understood that. Otherwise he’d have really fought back at me.
By this time, Jules was pulling the guy out from under me. Nobody touched me, as I slowly stood back up. Aching with throbbing pain in my hands, arms, stinging abrasions across my chest. Covered in blood.
Addison looked at me.
“I got you another drink, it’s at your table, if you’d like it.” He said loud enough for everyone around us to hear.
I sighed heavily and flicked my hair back over my shoulder. Like nothing was amiss.
Addison and Jules had a guard of older wolves, either side of the crowd that had formed. Like a formation guard for me to walk through. We were putting on a show of who was who, for the pack to see.
Addison started walking beside me. But once again, everything stopped when Gabby appeared from the restroom, holding her hand to her nose. She had blood smeared across her upper lip.
I looked back at her and she at me. If looks could kill, I’d have been dead and buried.
“I hope I broke it.” I said smiling at her.
Addison rolled his eyes at me. As if to say ‘you two are so immature’.
“Shall we?” He asked as I turned around and we walked back over to Paris, at his table.
If I’d have been in real trouble for starting a fight there, Paris himself would have been pulling me off that wolf. Berating me in front of everyone. Or at the very least, instructed Addison to yank me back off him.
But they hadn’t, so clearly, I’d done something right, in standing up for myself.