A Werewolf Blog in Brooklyn

Above all else | September 1, 2009

The Tibetan Book Of The Dead believes that in moments of great transition, there is a spiritual moment of potential.

A combination of death and re-birth. It’s called Bardo, a state of apparently suspended reality in which those transforming, can recognise the true nature of reality.

I like the sound of this Bardo, it sounds similar to shape shifting, and what the werewolf must experience when it comes to, from within my body. In a sense, My human side dies and the werewolf is born.

Werewolves have been called many things, like Loup-Garou, Varcolac’s, Wulvurs, Berserker, ulfhendar, lycan, but mostly we are called monsters, because people fear a lot easier than they trust. First reaction is normally to fear unknown.

There’s so many myths around werewolves its hard to know what’s right and what’s just fiction. Romanians believe werewolves can swallow the moon and sun and are responsible for eclipses.

I can tell you right now, that despite having no memory of my time as a werewolf, I’m fairly certain, that my werewolf can’t either A) leap that high in the sky /space, or b) dislocate her jaw that wide.

And if she can, then damn!

We’re primal animals from a long line of heritage. But essentially it’s all baser evolution re-evolving with the times.

But I’m getting off track here.

What my point to this post was about was about recognition of reality, seeing things for what they are. No matter who you are. I can be me and see people for who they are, and I can be a werewolf and know people and animals for what they are.

Insight into these relationships, is a bonus. Trust in any relationship is essential.

It’s a foundation to hand yourself over to someone else. So it’s no different with Conall and me. If the trust isn’t there, then neither are we as a couple. Kind of reminds me of the Brooklyn motto “Een Draght Maakt Maght” translated means, “In Unity there is strength.” which is kind of like the Breukelen pack motto
“Ältijd Breukelen” – Always Breukelen. It a sense of who you are. Of having something. Because there’s strength there, in knowing who you are.
Without knowledge of self, what are you but lost?
The same thing is true of a couple in a relationship.

Things have been weird lately, so strained is a word I’ve come to understand a lot of lately. Insecurity with Conall suprisingly, is not something I’ve had to deal with before. It’s the one thing, he doesn’t make me feel. Well, hand’t, until now.

But then I saw what I needed to see, the other day. That gave me the truth of my paranoid thoughts and shut down any fears I may have been developing.

I saw it in Conall’s face, I understood it with the slow exploration of fingers and lips, read it through his body language reacting to mine, as we moved together. I heard it in his words.

You know you’re being played when you loose site of what you do know. I know that now. Conall knows that now. We’re both aware of the situation.

Working a head trip, that’s got you in a spin, at a vulnerable time. You become vulnerable to negativity and believing what you would not otherwise consider. It’s how manipulation gets done. Set up two people, tell them each something different, stand back and let the show begin!

When you get separated from what is truth, from what holds your beliefs together, when you can literally no longer see it. When the game playing involves using people as a project for personal purpose.

But then Conall came for me, and reminded me, through words and touch, that It’s all about trust with us.
It always has been.
It’s what we’ve always had between us.

As he said to me last night, like the first time we got together so many years ago, his words dancing across my lips, before we kissed.

“Above all else there is us.”


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