A Werewolf Blog in Brooklyn

The World at night | September 4, 2009

When you shape-shift, it’s like torture.
It’s like all the harm in the world you could imagine being placed upon your body and done to you, regardless of your choice in the matter.
Okay, not all the time. But most of it. Well, it depends, when you experience your first shift, it usually feels pretty bad. Or if you’re alone, or fighting it, it can be horrible.

Hollywood movies would have you believe that it’s fast, beautiful and seamless. But a good shift usually only occurs when you’re with other wolves, something about pheromones or group recognition calm the body down more, so it hurts less.

But it feels like eternity, when it’s a bad shift and if it’s seamless then why do my bones break and fracture? Why do my insides, expand to the point of exploding out of a body that doesn’t seem capable of holding them? At first.

See first off, your body breaks, literally.

Every bone you can think of, and not’s let forget there are around 206 bones in the HUMAN body. Every single one of them, fractures and breaks, most of them, more than once to accommodate the werewolf. Organs ache and pull trying to figure out if they’re going to constrict you to death, or expand till you explode in the skin your in. Muscles stretch to the point of tearing, Till they can stretch no further and just when you think they’re going to snap apart forever, the pain starts. Well it’s ongoing at this point, but it really starts to fill every fiber of your being.

You think you’re blood is going to boil you alive, because you’re trapped in a suffocating heat wave encased in your skin. You can literally feel your heart slowing down, and you’re muscles, all 640 or so of the TYPICAL HUMAN variety, threaten to leave you limp and immobile. It’s about that time that another change kicks in and so the waves of shifting one body into another body, continue.

That’s only the first twenty seconds, that I can remember.

After that, I black out, and the body’s mechanics of letting the werewolf out, take over automatically. The werewolf knows what to do and how to claw it’s way out of me. I’ve been told it can take an hour for a shift to occur fully. Depends on the wolf. Can you imagine if being conscious of all that for an hour?
Would make the horror movies of the world seem tame wouldn’t it?

Having your body do maximum damage to you because it knows no better.
Because it can’t stop. Because it’s natural needs program it too.
You can’t stop once a shift starts to happen. It just doesn’t work like that when you’re a beta wolf.

There are things you can do to make this phase of your lunar week more pleasant and bearable. But there are things that work against it too. Yes, we have weakness but then nobody’s perfect and without flaws huh?

When in werewolf form, I don’t retrain memory of what I do. It gets lost in the shape-shifting back to my human self. The world at night, during lunar weeks is filled with black and blank and full of possibilities. But I don’t know them. I don’t keep them locked away inside me, I can’t. My wolf, doesn’t know how to. My werewolf, works with instinct on auto pilot. Like any other animal I suppose. I think her instincts on survival are probably stronger than mine. But it’s not like I test her.

Nobody’s really figured out the whole machinations of how the shape-shifting works, came about or why we’re loosing the werewolf gene in more recent times. Birth rates of werewolves are lower than ever, and nobody knows why. Carrying a werewolf gene to full term is harder than ever, especially on a Non.

Sometime during the world at night, at the approaching dawn my werewolf knows it must retreat and allow me, it’s shield and protector, the human side of it, to surface again. We co-exist within one another and we both know that much.

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