A Werewolf Blog in Brooklyn

Two for one | September 27, 2009

There is a duality involved in being me.
Two lives lived at once by the one and same person.That is a constant for me and now, I’ve possibly made it the same for Vargr. Like some kind of stupid, irreversible, two for one deal.

I don’t mean like all those freaks on twitter. I mean, there’s a constant struggle of being me, and who I am to those around me.

I’m supposed to be the golden child of the family. The caring one. But I haven’t spoken to my father, the Alpha, about Vargr. I don’t know how to and now, it seems worse because time has elapsed. So not very golden of me.

I’m supposed to be a responsible Breukelen pack wolf. But my actions could be considered the opposite of that.

Perhaps there is a duality in all of us really. I mean, I know people who would say they are a different type of person when in their work environment, then when at home. It’s what’s required of them. It’s just how it is.

But for me it’s a little more involved than that. For a few days each month, I’m asked, to accept, major differences in me. Differences that are driven by a powerful force within me, that doesn’t want to listen or adhere to the human side of me.

This is the thought that runs through my head as I gear up for another lunar week, fast approaching and I find myself in the company and bed of my pack partner Conall Wakely, again, on most nights. With my mind wondering occasionally to a boy called Paris and the mugger Vargr who I bit.

There is a security in knowing who you are.
There is an unshakable certainty if you have the self-belief and the knowledge to accept all there is about you.

I grew up a werewolf. I always knew I was a werewolf. My loving parents explained it to me as soon as I could speak. So it got ingrained me, and I grew up knowing with certainty that this is what I am. So when my first shift took place, I understood why it was happening to me.

But what I am, does it make me who I am? I think that’s debatable, after all, Vargr mugged me. Is a criminal, a mugger but that doesn’t help me figure out any less who he is, his name or who he is as a person.

I have nothing to go on, other than he was in my neighborhood and he didn’t know I was a werewolf. Otherwise, I’m fairly certain he wouldn’t have picked on me. Still, maybe he thought he’d risk it. No, I’m pretty sure he’s just a criminal who saw a prize catch in the chance to rip me off.

It’s not like the police record would necessarily have him on file either. I mean mugging, seems petty and small time doesn’t it? Doesn’t mean he’s been caught before.

So that’s all I have to go on. I mean, it was dark, and I didn’t get a good look at him and there was nothing distinguishing about him. I remember the direction he ran off in. But there’s nothing around there to indicate where he would have gone or why. I have no trail on Vargr’s where-abouts, no clue as to who he is.

So how can I prepare him for who he might become, or more correctly, what – a Lycan.

The upcoming lunar cycle, will bring about the first lot of symptoms in his body, if I infected him with my bite. From what information I can gather, it takes roughly two lunar cycles before a shift will kick in for a Lycan. Before they go full moon furry.

Being born a werewolf, it’s a little different. The body has to adjust to grow into it’s form, so shape shifting usually hits us around puberty. Like getting through puberty itself isn’t enough to deal with and high school on top of all that…Sheesh.

So Vargr can expect to feel all manner of odd next week. But that still doesn’t help me find out where he is, or who he is. I mean, it’s unlikely this guy would go to a hospital to check himself out and if he did, well let’s just say it’d be a bad move.

Werewolves don’t really need healthcare most of the time, but when we do require medical treatment, we don’t just go to normal hospitals or clinics for obvious reasons.

Besides, the symptoms that Vargr is likely to experience, which will feel quite extreme in itself, wouldn’t be something he alone couldn’t get through, if he knew how to remain calm and not fight them.

If he knew what to expect, and had someone with him, to help his transition.

Which would be my responsibility to do if I was going to be responsible Breukelen werewolf and try and make things as right as can be, considering what’s happened already.

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