A Werewolf Blog in Brooklyn

I was once a teen werewolf | June 1, 2010

I saw a newspaper heading that caught my attention the other day.

Teen Werewolves roam the shopping malls of San Antonio

And tried hard not to laugh out loud at the jumpy news reporting on this apparent “subculture” of teenager, that “isn’t goth, isn’t emo, it’s something else entirely.” That is going on in good old Texas as it appeared a varied headline on a few different online media outlets.

Of course when I saw the heading Florida Vampire Running For President I completely lost it and laughed – hard. Especially when I saw what the guy looked like and how much style he lacked. Wonder if I’m the only one who thinks he gives ‘vampires’ a bad name. For starters, what vampire goes to Florida to live? Isn’t Florida all about retirees and beaches which incorporate sunlight?

But back to the freak show that is teen werewolves.

I can say it’s a freak show because I was one once, a teen and am still the later, being a naturally born werewolf. Now just more adult like. Although, possibly that’s debatable too with my sometimes ‘childish’ behavior. Still being a teenager often feels like a freak show in itself.

I wouldn’t think teen werewolves roaming shopping malls would be a big deal as most American teenagers end up looking like mall rats a one point in their lives. It’s a natural habitat for the teenager.

It’s an open space where they can linger, eat and watch all that other life, go buy. It’s like the earliest form of reality TV and possibly the most naturalist there can be for the suburban teen. Let alone the suburban wolves.

Think about it for a sec, you have your lovey-dovey couples walking arm in arm, you have your soccer moms with a million screaming kids in tow, you have your skulking teenagers and your security guards to mess with and nervy corporate types dashing in and out. You get a bit of everything and there is bound to be some sort of drama happening in a mall, I mean, there is almost always some bitch fight, screaming child or lost child or thieving in process.

And all you have to do is sit around the food court, eating popcorn watching it all happen. Brilliant!

Of course, if that isn’t entertaining enough for you, you can just move through the mall aimlessly like the rest of the flotsam and jetsom of human populace in there. Being at the mall doesn’t require you to have a purpose or an excuse. The mall just exists. It’s like that island on LOST. It’s like the epicenter of just being.
No reasons required.

It’s also like the first place parents go to look for their kids when they haven’t come home straight from school like they’re supposed to. They’re friends house being the second and the library being dead last (old excuse – clue in).

It’s an all purpose tracker, easy for the parents to find them, depending of course, on the size of the mall. But if they know the habits of their teenage offspring well, finding them in a mall will usually be narrowed down to a few areas of interest, rather than the entire shopping space.

The mall and teenager where meant to go together.

This is a well calculated and used relationship that after generation of generation of high school clique teens, has yet to die down. The mall is their coliseum, where all manner of games in evil and hilarity, humiliation, temptation and degradation that is high school interaction is played out.

And it’s neutral territory, nobody owns it, and everybody can go there.

It’s also often where the teen will first get a real big bad bite of reality by getting a job there. Then the jadedness of becoming something more than a mall rat or mall wolf, sets in, they become a ‘working stiff’.

As for the werewolves in the malls, well, they have to loiter and shop somewhere out of school hours don’t they?

And is it really so surprising that out of the ashes of cliques past, a new one arises, that of the “pack” of the teenage “werewolf”. I’ve got to say from personal opinion and experience, ‘real’ werewolves, wouldn’t flaunt what they are. They’re far cooler and smarter than that. They would just ooze attitude, and presence and you’d get the idea that they’re not you’re average teenager. Clothing and make up wouldn’t be needed to complete the look that confirmed they were a werewolf.

But it’s not surprising that in the melting pot and gauntlet that is high school, teenagers would identify and look up to us werewolves to make their own ‘pack.’/clique. After all, what better way to ban together, feel included and safe and enjoy your life, than with other like minded souls around you. I think it’s flattering that the San Antonio teens are wearing little furry tails and over killing the dark make up, Victorian style. They seem to get that werewolves are about relationships and looking out for one another. Not all cliques are like that. Normally you have to have a name or a purpose. A werewolf pack highschool clique doesn’t strike me as being like that. It has more meaning, much like werewolves packs outside of highschool land.

But you got to remember, it’s not the clothes that make you.

Still, I have to give them they’re kudos, they’ve got way more style than that florida vampire presidential candidate


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