A Werewolf Blog in Brooklyn

Heat | July 6, 2010

So it turns out, I’m in heat.

That’s why I lost control of myself so easily the other night when I was out dancing. A werewolf in heat can be a crazy, mad beast, if it’s male. They tend to want to rampage, which usually involves a need for destruction, violence, bloodshed.

A female werewolf in heat, is just a pain in the ass, let me tell you.

I’d rather do the whole, destructive, tear everything down routine. I can deal with a need for a healthy outlet, with being taken away somewhere where you are no danger to anybody, not even yourself.

I’ve been in heat, exactly two times before.

Each time, was very different. So I have no idea, how I’m going to be, or what sensations or feelings of need are going to come over my werewolf because, each time, has been unlike the last. I don’t know why it happens or what brings it on. I don’t even know if it affects all werewolves or not.

The first time I was in heat, it lasted a couple of hours and I was just remarkably horny. I would’ve done anything and anyone, who was willing to assist me, male, female, human, werewolf, shape shifter, lycan. You name it, I did not have any pre-requisites other than, they had to have to want to have sex with me. I felt like everything was turning me on too. Everywhere I looked, advertising, television shows, people on the street, the littlest gestures people would do normally, I was seeing in a whole new light and it was erotic torture for me. So I locked myself away in my room, for myself as much as everyone else. That and sitting very still, trying to meditate for a long time, seemed to do the trick.

I had no warning, it was going to come over me. I mean, one minute I was good and as normal as can be for me, the next, I was a drooling, panting, needy bitch in heat.

It only occurred to me that’s what it was, when somebody pointed it out to me. Then I tried to fight it, which of course, is dumb. Being in heat, is like, someone else took control of your body and all it’s hormones. It’s like a form of insanity, is the best way I can think to describe it.

You might think, being a horny wolf on the make sounds very ordinary or indeed, sexy. But it’s the oddest sensation and it always makes me at some point, feel how wrong it is. That is to say, I suddenly become highly aware of it and how little control or say I get in this thing that comes over both me and my wolf and affects us both, equally. My mind can recognize something out of the ordinary is going on, within me, but I can’t literally do anything about it.

The second time, I was in heat, I was going through a weird thing on top of that. A bit like having a withdrawal and dosing of pheromones in my system, all at once. After recovering from a bad experience. Such shitty, inconvient timing, let me tell you. Just made things more complicated and hard to handle.

And then, the other night, while dancing with Paris.

No warning signs, and suddenly I’m the verge of shape shifting in a public place, with plenty of human fodder around for my wolf to do, whatever she feels like with. Which I can’t decide what that is. Either have sex or rip them to shreds. Possibly both.

Paris bundled me up and took me away from there. He knew something was up, because losing control, is a fucking, rookie, newbie, wolf move. Because I’ve been brought up and trained in how to balance the wolf and me.

Because he’s seen it before.

Now I just have to get through this thing.


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