A Werewolf Blog in Brooklyn

Ever the Alpha | November 10, 2010

“I want to go home.” It’s words that sound cruel to say. Shouldn’t. But does. Because I’m telling Paris. I’m not asking. I’m saying. Saying I’d rather be in my own place, than with him. And that’s where the cruelty and mostly, guilt kicks in.

I can see the emotions behind his eyes even as he masks his face. Ever the Alpha. He doesn’t want to hear this. He doesn’t want me to go. Doesn’t want me out of his sights. Because I think, somewhere in that very male brain of his, he blames himself for my attack at Gabby’s hands.

He wasn’t there. So he couldn’t stop it. Couldn’t stop another Alpha werewolf, attacking me. A superior werewolf, taking advantage of a lesser, as it were, when it comes to physical skills, wolf. He couldn’t stop it, didn’t see it coming. So now all he can do, is try to make everything right again. At least, I think that’s what he’s thinking.

I’m pretty sure I know this werewolf well enough now, to know, that he might not voice that to me, but that his eyes, tell me that and more. “Ok.” I raise my eyebrows.

Oh this can’t be a good sign.

He didn’t fight me on my request. Didn’t make a big deal of it. I look back at him suspiciously and he is the first out of us to break eye contact. No. That’s not good at all. He knows, I know him. Know how he’s thinking, what he’s feeling, even though he’s doing his damnedest to remain calm and in control around me.

I can still feel vibrations of anger tingeing the atmosphere around us. It’s kind of been seeping out of him slowly, since he found me. I don’t think he realizes, that he hasn’t stopped seething, since he got me. He’s wound up tight, his body is tense and muscles are rigid and when he touches me, his hands are heavy or his grip is tight. He won’t let go this time, he won’t allow me to be harmed ever again like this.

He barely can handle to think of it now after all that’s happened. So he’s either conceded to me because he thinks it’s best I go back to Brooklyn, to my house, to the safety of my pack over there. Or he’s getting me out the way from what he’s likely to do here, in Manhattan.

Like he doesn’t want me to see his full fury. To see what he has to do, as pack leader to those responsible for allowing Gabby’s attack on me.

I want to believe it’s the first sentiment, but I feel it’s more to do with the second one. He’s a werewolf. An Alpha werewolf. Werewolves, we are a proud race.

Add to that that he’s probably struggling with a feeling of failure in being an Alpha werewolf and not protecting me, or sensing or stopping the attack and it’s sure to build on a fair amount of rage. He might be a werewolf who’s been schooled in the art of control.

But I’d hazard a guess that the focus of that control was on containing the werewolf specifically for lunar nights and the like. Not for dealing with your own ultimate, underlying anger.

And how this anger can get the werewolf within, out of control and reason. I haven’t seen him like this before. But I’ve known him to be like this before.

The irony of this being it was when he had to fight for the pack leadership of the Manhattan Maen. The whole incident that started off my fate leading to Gabby Colton’s paws in the first place.

“Take me home?” He looks up and me and nods his head silently. Those dark eyes are filled with a sad, silent, steely resolve. They look hard. Whatever he was thinking, has been going through his head, it appears the decision has been made.

Gabby is dead if he finds her first.



  1. Mmm. The Alpha can only be in anyone place at a time. He can help by training his betas more about combat. Self reliance is my motto.

    Comment by Pierre — November 11, 2010 @ 7:04 am

  2. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Pierre Novaeu, Breukelen_girl. Breukelen_girl said: Ever the Alpha: http://wp.me/pyFur-17H *A Werewolf Blog in Brooklyn * […]

    Pingback by Tweets that mention Ever the Alpha « A Werewolf Blog in Brooklyn -- Topsy.com — November 11, 2010 @ 7:44 am

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