A Werewolf Blog in Brooklyn

The Werewolf Within | November 21, 2010

My first shape shift after the attack. Well, second if you want to get technical.

The first shape shift was done after I’d been attended to when I’d been found by Paris and the boys. But it wasn’t done alone and it wasn’t easy for me. Both Paris and Addison had to help me shift. You see, shape shifting isn’t always as seamless as the movies make it seem.

When the human side of me, is under duress and trauma, the shape shift is so much harder on me than it should be. I guess you could say, it’s like I can’t quite shut down part of my brain, to let that stuff go. It’s locked in there and it’s conscious in there, when the process of shape shifting begins. And so because of the memory of whatever it is that is stressing me, it reacts through out the rest of my body. Where I hold my stresses, where I feel my injuries. So the pain factor when my shape shift kicks in and my bones begin to break, is excruciating. Like a fresh new memory that floods my mind, as my body continues to do what it must. Changing form, awkwardly.

So when I say Paris and Addison had to help me, it means, they had to calm my body down. They had to make me think, let my mind wander, to the sense of pack and werewolf. To fur and security surrounding me. There are various ways to do this, but the most common way to achieve this, so the shape shift is less, rough is by touch. I don’t mean sexually. I mean by reminding the wolf within of familiar senses. I guess you could call it frotting, if you really wanted to. We rub against each other, touch skin, rub our face over necks and chests. And the whole time we’re touching like this, we’re trying to remind our mind to seek out werewolves. To sniff the scents of those around us. Addison’s scent is a mixture of bonfire and fur.

The longer it takes for your shape shift to take hold, the worse it’s going to be. With Addison and Paris helping me, previously, it took around twenty minutes. As opposed to a smooth shape shift with Paris, that generally happens for me in two minutes. So it was bad. But I got through it, and was able to completely shape shift and hold form, once shifted.

That’s the other thing with shape shifting and trauma. If you’re too badly injured you might not be able to make it happen for you, and if you do manage to make your shape shift kick in, once in wolf form, you might not hold form, long enough to really be of any benefit to healing your wounds. It’s hard to say.

The werewolf within, has it’s own mindset. And you really only get to control it, when you’re in human form.

Sometimes it’s the opposite. The wolf knows just how to take complete care of you when you’re injured. And you’ll hold wolf form, longer than you might normally. To better your chances at recovery. Like I’ve said before, shape shifting isn’t an exact science. It just is what it is.

So Paris’s instance to Booker that he see me, to see me through my first lone shape shift, is justified. Not that Booker wouldn’t think so. He’s just trying to do the right thing by those who’ve asked it of him. He’s trying to look out for me. So is Paris. He’s come round to ensure I can shape shift without great difficulty. Cause shape shifting, when it’s not smooth, is ugly to watch, let me tell you. But worse than ugly is the agony that thrashes your body, that for at least, some of the time, you’re fully conscious of.

Paris is here, to help me forget all that stuff. To make me blank it all from my mind. To help me ease myself into a comfort zone to shape shift, because I don’t think we have enough time, to do it the other way. The way I really, like to shape shift, when I’m with him. Let’s just say, I’m still aware of where I am and that Booker, although not a werewolf, still has heightened abilities, like great hearing, because he’s a lycan. Even if he’s down the far end of the house. So I don’t want to be “noisy”.

So we touch, and we feel, and we look and we taste and I find myself getting lost in his gaze and sensing the werewolf from within, lurking close to the surface, prowling about his skin, waiting for my wolf, waiting for a shape shift and the caress of night to engulf us.

There are signs that my shape shift is on the way. My body temperature heats ups up and my skin, sweats, it’s like stage one in a varied list of how to know your shape shift is coming on. Paris’s lips kiss my collar bone and his tongue darts in the dip there, as he works his way back up to my mouth. My hungry little mouth that wants our lips to sear together, so I can lick the roof of his mouth.

Normally I guess you could say, I’d moan when I’m in the middle of foreplay with Paris, but the sounds coming out of me now, are more wolf than me. It’s not moans, it’s like low panting, rumbles of pleasure. Another sign, I’m even closer to shape shifting, if the vocal cords are going. That’s like stage eight on that varied list of signs to look out for a shape shift.

When my nose twitches and I find myself straining upwards, to sniff along Paris’s neck and shoulder blades. Inhaling the almonds and amber of him, mingling with the werewolf’s base scent of fur, it mean’s I’m just about ready to shape shift. When the mixture of his scent fills me and starts to overwhelm that brain of mine, it’s making me want to go looking for the werewolf within, him and me.

From there onwards, it doesn’t take long. My senses are all tuned towards that of the werewolf. Paris helps accelerate this process by doing small, partial shape shifts of his own, visual, sensory things to help me. So I’m staring back at wolf eyes, I’m feeling claws tapping against my skin. I’m being nipped by his wolf fangs in my flesh.

I’m hooked.

My werewolf wants out, and that part of me, that’s the girl that got attacked with a knife and silver, is fading fast to the familiar feel of reassuring strength flooding her through the werewolf within.


1 Comment »

  1. Grrrr. Looks like you’re on the mend. 🙂

    Comment by Pierre — November 22, 2010 @ 7:09 am

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