A Werewolf Blog in Brooklyn

Teen Wolf should be called Dumb Ass

July 26, 2012
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You know I’m so deep into bad TV viewing land of Teen Wolf now….I just can’t stop.  It’s become some what of an addiction.

So strap in and get ready for  whatever comes next.  Because I am prepared to ride this thing out. So strap yourselves in, cause here we go onto episode 8 of season 2.

Opening scene is with Jackson in class receiving a text message to his cell phone, his eyes widen, he looks at it a little strangely, but then appears to just get up and leave class, taking off in his car in daylight – but arriving at a warehouse at night time. Oh no, really?  Okay, whatever, he’s walking into the building rather robotically zombie like.  Very peculiar, no real reason given, but hey on Teen Wolf, you don’t actually need reasons for things. His whole opening scene appearances is done without Jackson actually speaking.

We cut to Stiles and his dad the sheriff.  It’s a cute little scene, where Stiles starts asking his dad about the Kanima murders. His dad goes on to say he can’t share confidential information with a teenager.  But then Stiles notices the noticeboard behind his dad with all the clues and information on it…well most of it.

And so we get given another bread crumb about this whole season’s weird kanima storyline.

All the murder victims are /were twenty four years of age.  All the murder victims are from surprise surprise, Beacon Hills – how insane is that? A show set in Beacon Hills where everything happens in Beacon Hills from a tonne of murders to werewolves and they were all in the same class at high school together at Beacon hills. I’m so surprised. Oh and Also, as well as being the same class, they all had the same teacher – Mr nasty teacher who gave all our teens detention.

But I suspect this is just a red hearing the writers want us to follow, so they can do a big reveal on who the Kanima controller is. But you know, could be an “either or thing”. Depending when the writers of this show will decide to make up their minds.

As Stiles and his dad go through the 2006 Beacon Hills year book to look for the Kanima’s next victim, they come across a pretty picture of a black woman.  Cut back to the warehouse and Jackson is silently purchasing a ticket from that same woman for an underground rave party.

Onto Allison next and she’s visiting the morgue with her dad.  Wow, real parent-child bonding moment.  Daddy is angry about the victims they are looking at and interrogates Allison about what she knows about the Kanima.

Dad Argent – “The price of greatness is responsibility.  Personally I think it’s more about knowledge.  What we know of the truth, we know the world….”Angry, dramatic.  “Are you starting to get it?”

Yep, you’re trying to link back to the  bumper sticker we saw in the last episode. Of course, dad thinks Allison actually knows who controls the Kanima.

Got news for you dad Argent.  We’re not likely till find that out until the end of season. I mean, that’s the storyline right? Derek, Issac and Scott are at the Vet’s who is enlisted in helping the werewolves.  He gives them  mountain ash, bad for werewolves and Kanima masters.

There’s a lot of theorizing and explaining shit to us the viewer about the Kanima master and trapping both the monster and the master.

High school – these kids actually attend it, there’s a little locker room thuggery for some underground rave tickets and then Allison and Scott making out in one of the classrooms when no one is around.

Scott tries to tell Allison that her mom knows about their sex life and stuffs it up by including “the pencils” speech.  He then turns into a stupid ass by suggesting to protect themselves, they should be seen dating other people.

Scott you are stupid beyond stupid belief.

Allison then explains to Scott that she’s kind of like, already, like, got a date planned with Matt – camera weird boy.  Scott is very enthusiastic about this happening.

Allison like any sane girl dating a boy she likes a lot, is confused by this.  Scott even encourages Allison to kiss Matt. Allison “Really kiss him?” Scott “What do you mean, really kiss him?”  Allison then demonstrates a “real kiss.” Scott.  “Don’t do that.” She leaves the classroom and Scott calls out to her “I love you.” To which Allison mutters “yeah.” Or something lame that is not “I love you” back.

Oh no. SCOTT. SCOTT. YOU ARE A SERIOUS DUMB ASS. Doesn’t help your cause that Mommy Dearest Argent witnessed you kissing her daughter either.

To be continued 


Thriller Vs Teen Wolf Part 1

July 19, 2012

Welcome to a tv show called Teenwolf.  Where’s it’s premise is based on an 1985 movie by the same name. About a teenager who finds out the hard way, that he’s a werewolf.

Or is it?

Teen Wolf Season 2, Episode 5. Yeah, they made it this far. How is anyone’s guess.

I can’t help but begin to wonder now after the first opening sequence to Episode 5 of the second season.

Before I get into it I have to point out my BIGGEST and the MOST OBVIOUS annoyance of Episode 5.  Episode 4 Left us hanging with Scott getting very gruesomly stabbed by Allison’s grandfather. We were left to think he was actually bleeding out before hoping in the family car with his mum.

This is not acknoweldged, answered, followed up or anything in Episode 5. IT’S RIDICIOULUS THAT IT’S NOT!

The first story of the episode is about Jackson, lacrosse star player, werewolf wana be  and all around chiselled jaw sports jock.

He’s attempting to bench prench, way beyond his human capabilities. But of course, the thing Jackson doesn’t realise is he’s on this show to be emasculated and therefore frustration sets in when he can barely get through a heavy set of weights without his friend, spotting for him and lifting the weights off him.  We also discover Jackson has super enhanced hearing.


Enter Erica, who grabs Jackson and takes him off to meet his would have been his maker, Alpha, Derek Hale.  Derek wants to know if anything happened to Jackson on the night of the full moon.

Or should that be fool moon? I prefer in this show to think of it as the later.

Jackson denies anything happening to him. But Derek, being the psycho scary ass that he is, refuses to believe Jackson and says very cryptically – “You know Jackson you’ve always been a kind of snake.  Every one knows that snakes can’t be poisioned by their own venom.”  And proceeds to ensure a drop of the reptilian monster’s venom falls in Jackson’s mouth.

By this stage, I’m thinking the reptilian monster from previous episodes is.

Perhaps It’s Lydia.  She was attacked first. And the reptile monster recognises Stiles.  Lydia hangs out with Stiles all the time now.  The mechanic at the auto shop was attacked and killed and he previously played on the Lacrosse team.

We don’t know this yet, but I’d take a wild guess and assume that he might be Lydia’s previous boyfriend.  As for why Issac’s dad was killed, random. He was an assehole he had it coming. No real reason other than that.

As Jackson lays paralysed on the floor, Derek looks at him and says “You’re still a snake Jackson, you’re just not the one we’re looking for.” Hello Jackson was Lydia’s boyfriend in season 1.

Are we making connections yet? Or am I just going down the path the writers want me to?

Before we hit opening credits of sexiness, Issac, hovers over Jackson and says “There’s one other thing you have to do for us.  Well, for me.”  Which means he has to recant his story that he told to the police officers about Issac and his father agruging before Issac’s father was murdered.

Why? Just so Issac can get back into highschool.

For those familiar with the TeenWolf movie. I know I’ve already lost you. And quite frankly, it was to be expected.  Here is a TV show that has literally nothing to do with the movie it was based on!

Other than taking the title name: Teen Wolf and some of the character names; Stiles, Scott. There is nothing else in common with the movie that this TV show was adapted from.  In the movie, Scott aka Teenwolf played basketball, his love interest was called Boof and he wasn’t bitten by a werewolf, it was family genetics.

But semantics aside, obviously a movie to tv adaption requires something to make a tv show get through a season. Like a plot, a story arch, and a world created around this character – Teen Wolf.

Or does it?

The opening sequence of this show, before the credits is all about another character on this show!

And you might be of the opinion that it’s a one of thing, or it’s okay to learn about other characters in this show, but the more this show progresses into season 2, the more there is of other characters and for me, less of Teen Wolf himself.

And the show is called TEEN WOLF.  Maybe it should be called Tease Wolf.

As we return from the credits into the obscurity of whatever the concept of this tv show is, Stiles and Scott become accosted by Jackson in class who plants my idea that Lydia is the reptilian monster in their heads. And that Derek’s beta wolves, now also highschool students again, are going out to kill Lydia later in the day.

Why they think they have to return to being highschool students to complete this mission is beyond me, since most of the action in Teen Wolf, happens at night when all the teenagers are freely running around woods and quite often, an unlocked school grounds.

Scott asks Stiles if he believes Lydia is the monster and Stiles, bless him replies that he does not think it’s her.  Because the monster looked at him and he saw pure evil.  Lydia looks at him and he only sees half evil, 40% on a good day.

My love for Stiles grows with every episode of this muddled up concept of a show.

During a classroom exercise we see Lydia go into a dream about herself and some very spiral writing on the black board that is being written by the Alpha werewolf who attacked her.

As Lydia freaks out, he comes up to her and blows some white powdery substance in her face.  This snaps us the viewer back into the present day classroom where Lydia has written all manner of words on the blackboard to a math question, backwards.

Stiles, ever the resourceful sidekick, snaps a photo on his phone of the writing and with the photo capabilities of his phone, reverses the image which shows us, Lydia has written “Someone help me.” repeatedly over the blackboard.

Already my review at this stage is at 1000 words and we’re not even half way through the episode.


Continued in Part 2.

Teen Wolf Season 2, Episode 3 – Plot Hole

July 16, 2012

Episode 3.Open to horror movie cliché.

A lone pretty girl is filling up her car at a gas station, and gets winked at by the only other person at the gas station, a guy on a bike. The lights go out, girl panics and looks around herself.  Before she can get into the car, a black hood is put over head.

Did we really have to have the fake lightening strikes added in? Lame.  Turns out Allison, Teen Wolf’s love interest has been kidnapped, or is that just how you parent your daughter when you’re a werewolf hunter? When the black hood is taken off her head we discover she’s tied up on a chair in some dark, dank place and her father is to. But it’s okay, don’t fret, this just how you train your reluctant daughter to want to kill her lover boyfriend. Her father in all dramatic posing and monloguing informs her that men are raised to be soilders in their family and the women are raised to be leaders.

Deep. Dramatic. Family manifesto.  Scary ass family.

A typical high school day kicks in, and we find our assorted teens in gym class at a climbing wall. Cool. Only boring as all we learn from this scene is Scott is still a horny teen and that there is a new character we are supposed to get to know. Erica. A young epileptic girl who freaks out mid climb on the wall. After class she attempts on her own, without safety equipment to re-climb the wall.

She falls off the wall but is caught by Scott, who magically has some connection to her because his hand gets the shakes and that means he knows Erica is about to have a seizure.  Erica goes to the hospital to get checked out. I guess, you know, animals are more sensitive than humans. Or, you know, whatever.

And for absolutely no apparent reason, Derek Hale turns up at the hospital and wheels Erica out of her room.  He then proceeds to act as a complete creepy predator and all but threaten her with physical assault against her very young body, by “making it all go away”.

Que sexy red glowing werewolf eyes.  And Erica is under Derek’s spell.

The next time we see her, is the classic high school girl ‘check me out bitches” moment.  When Erica re-enters the school cafeteria in some kick ass animal print high heels, a mini-mini skirt and leather jacket, perfect hair and heavy slut make up.

Mean girl moment then ensues when Erica walks over to some geeky boys and picks up their apple and bites into it.  Provocatively, suggestively, before exiting the cafeteria after ensuring the entire student body has taken a good hard look at her make-over. Nice lipstick sweetie.

Scott and Styles run out after her like rabid dogs in heat, only to watch Erica slip into Derek Hale’s car.

In class, our favourite frustrated and constantly angry jock, Jackson figures out from watching an animal documentary that Lydia has managed to pass on her immunity to Jackson who after oozing black stuff out of his nose and ears, finds out, he is not turning into a werewolf any time soon.  Hence he can not become the next Teen Wolf! Oh no. Drama. Disappointment. So Bye bye ace sporting abilities.  Jackson proceeds to take this out on Lydia who goes off to the girls toilet to have a cry and some male, walks into the toilets and stalks her outside her toilet stall.

We’re given the glimpse of the Alpha who attacked her checking out the school medals and trophies.  Maybe he wants to take up lacrosse too.

Night time activities for our teens include, paying for the key to an ice skating rink for Scott, Allison and Stiles and Lydia to skate at.  Only Lydia ends up having a shrieking vision episode and flipping the fuck out.  Annoying and well, no, just annoying. She’s not anything, can we move on now?

More drama as the next day, Boyd the guy who let stiles buy a key to use after hours at the ice skating rink, is missing from school. Well clearly he’s missing, not sick or anywhere else but clearly missing, Scott and Stiles decide because Boyd is not in the cafeteria for lunch.

Scott and Stiles immediately for no reason the viewers can tell, assume Derek has turned Boyd into a werewolf to create his new pack.  Again there seems to be a big gap and making connections for the viewers to see.

After skipping out on school, Stiles goes to Boyd’s house looking for him, what he finds is Erica in full on bitch mode, She whacks him unconscious with a carburetor or something from his car.

Back to the ice skating rink and it turns out that yes, Scott and Stiles were right about Boyd looking to join Derek.  He turns up with Erica and Isaac and the first werewolf fight on ice ensues. It’s kind of like Disney on Ice but without skates and Mickey Mouse.  Scott puts a big smack down on, but he still gets his ass kicked by Derek.

Despite Scotts “don’t do it” warning about being turned into a werewolf, we find it’s too late. Boyd has already allowed Derek to take the big bite out of him.  Seems Derek has a thing for biting boys on their lower abdominal lats.  Sexy.

At the end of the episode we discover something new about Jackson. That he has super strength, as he lifts the back end of his truck completely up out of the mud of the lacrosse oval at school. This makes Jackson a happy boy.

There’s something about the vet and the reptilian monster we saw in the last episode and Allison’s mum deliberately self harming herself with a kitchen knife just to get to the hospital, where Scott’s mum works to find out if Allison and Scott have really broken up. But they are minor moments that seem unnecessary, we can already see that Allison’s family are clueing into their behind the backs romance continuing.  Scott’s mother doesn’t even know he is teen wolf let alone that he was dating or has broken up (supposedly) with Allison.

Plot holes and predators, this is definetly a theme in this episode and  the plot holes are annoying the predator linking to this genre – is so very twilight like that surely can not be  a good thing when your core audience is impressionable teenages who will take on the message of that its okay for that kind of bullshit behaviour to play out on them, if twilight is any indicator.   Also, never get a werewolf to review a werewolf  TV show.

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