A Werewolf Blog in Brooklyn

Shatter

March 17, 2012
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The shape shift breaks me. My bones snap and shatter . I howl in agony, my voice straining between my clenching teeth. It’s hard to tell if I sound like a wounded animal or a woman screaming with every ounce of what is left in her.

My jaw is aching, my muscles are pounding and blood is surging in me. I try to remind myself, that the pain is temporary, it will leave me when the shape shift is complete.

The werewolf in me is pulsating under the surface of my skin, rushing me to get out. I have no control over this. Pain assails me roughly and without regard for my human self. I don’t fully understand it yet either. It’s been four months since I first shape shifted.

This hasn’t gotten any better or any easier than the first time. It’s just as bad, as hard to fathom as hard to get through the pain as it was then. Just like then, I’m alone. Only this time, I had a say in whether I got to be alone or not.

Not that it helps the shape shift become any smoother for me. It is the night of the full moon tonight and all werewolves in Brooklyn are shape shifting. All except the immature pups. My muscles spasm. They strain, they pull and pull until they almost snap. Then the tearing begins, fibre from sinew and sinew from bone.

There is so much agony that comes from this. And I endure it all. I’m not really sure how. I just know I am. My heart pushes up through my breast plate, straining to bend my ribs before pulling them inwards on me again. I’m waiting for them to pierce my internal organs. While my temperature bakes me from the inside out.

Then there is the thrashing, whilst all this internal conflict is going on inside , I move, I thrash, spasm and have a fit. But I’m conscious of the fit, I’m aware, my eyes are open and my mouth is gaping while spittle drools out of the corner. My throat is parched. It aches like skin that is too dry and splitting.

I never knew the human body could endure so much. I never thought I would have to. I really didn’t know what to expect when it came to shape shifting. But I’m fairly certain it wasn’t this.

I don’t think any other werewolves go through as much pain. When I would ask my siblings, prior to my shape shift, what it was like, they made it seem like it would be child’s play.

I thought it would be more like I collapse down on bended knee and have some intense cramps. Then somehow I’d double over and change. Transform. Shift. Become one with my baser nature. To evolve into my werewolf self. Not that I could change anything if I wanted to. This was always going to happen. I would have eventually had to shape shift.

Maybe it’s only this horrific because I’m new to it. Maybe it’s always going to be this horrific because those lycans attacked me on and brought on my first shape shift. Maybe that has affected it.

The air strums with the tension of the moonlight through it. It seeps into my pores and feels like a heart starter fuelling adrenaline. It keeps my mind awake and thinking. Ever so aware to every single breakage in me.

I hope for completion but I fear rides me that will never happen. My anxiety has not lessened each time I’ve gone through this.

I should not be anxious to be in this state.

I should not fear myself, my true self.

The werewolf within me.

***

To read more from Perception go to: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/133976


The Girl

November 22, 2010
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When I come to, I’m alone.

Paris’s scent lingers lightly against the covers of my bed. I inhale it.

The sound of voices rising, catches my attention. Scratching my head, I get up and look for something to tie my hair back with.

Moving my neck from side to side, out of habit more than anything else. I kind of like to test the theory that I’m always good after a shape shift. Doing little body checks on myself. I stretch my arms above my head and look around my room. Dropping my arms back down heavily.

The door’s closed and the voices although muted can still be heard clearly. It’s definetly people arguing. I look for clothes and slip into a pair of jeans and over-sized t-shirt that hangs off my shoulder slightly.

Tying my hair back into a quick pony tail before glancing at the clock on the dresser drawer. I didn’t hold form for all that long. Well, as long as I would normally judging by the time on the clock. Not that means anything. Or it might. Guess it’s hard to say based on one shape shift.

Could be my wolf not used to doing shape shifts by herself. She could’ve got used to being around Paris when he’s in wolf form, or even human form. Sometimes, our werewolves get conditioned like that. They fall into routine and they adjust to routine. Then you change it up and elements of it, change the shift, the body’s physiological response to environment, circumstance.

I head out of my room and into the house. The voices are clear and louder. It’s my sister Bodil and Paris. That can’t be good.

What the hell happened to Booker making sure Paris left before Bodil found out he’d been here? I’d ask the Lycan myself, but I have no idea where he is. Hmmm.

I keep heading towards the angry voices. Down the hallway, towards the sitting room, I pad down barefoot. I can see the thick wooden double doors are closed. But that’s where their coming from. I’m hungry, usually am after a shape shift, but I want to know what the hell is going on, so I ignore the hunger pains.

“You put her in danger!” Bodil yells at him. “She’s supposed to be going to Manhattan to party and have a good time, not to get stabbed with silver in your territory. She’s not going back there.”

I stand before the closed doors, listening.

“She’s not safe with you. You’ve proven that. You’re dangerous.” Bodil’s voice, still angry but not shouting.

“Bodil, it’s never ever going to happen again.”
Paris starts off politely as could be.

“The point is, Paris, it’s already happened and it shouldn’t have. You were supposed to be looking after her, as her boyfriend, as her guide through your fucking territory, as a fucking pack leader. You failed her. You failed the Breukelen by allowing this to happen to her! Why the hell would the Breukelen let you date one of our own, when you failed her so badly?”

My eyes widen at this news. I don’t exactly need permission to date anyone. It’s a wee bit complicated when it’s a different pack werewolf, but I still don’t have to get permission.

I am my own person. I always have been, much like my very angry and concerned for me, sister. We were always raised to be ourselves in our family. And as a result, there are a fair few strong personalities in our family. Guess it shouldn’t be so surprising coming from a Leading Pack family.

But my father, the pack Alpha, my sister, family, whatever, have never had to weigh in on my dating habits. No one, but me, has ever had a say in what I do.

I may be a pack werewolf, but that doesn’t mean I can’t make my own decisions and live by them. Doesn’t mean I can’t choose for myself, who I date. Doesn’t mean I’m going to let my sister or anyone else for that matter, dictate to me, how to run my life and who I’m allowed to see.

My hands are on the doors when Paris starts back at her.

“She’s no safer here. You think you’re guys are going to shadow her around for forever? What about the threats she faces over here in Brooklyn?”

“What threats?” Bodil asks him.

“Come on, you know how much Conall Wakely despises us being together. How much of a hard time he creates for her, every time she’s over here, when she tries to go to pack parties. How’s that any different to her being in my territory with me, and having to face a werewolf that doesn’t like her?”

“Well, let me think about this for a minute. Could it be, that she hasn’t gotten stabbed or poisoned with silver when she’s been in Breukelen territory, like ever. Around Breukelen wolves? But since she started dating you, she’s has? Yeah, that might be it.” Bodil fires at him full of sarcasm.

“Bodil, you can’t protect her forever. The world has people, wolves in it. Things happen everywhere. No matter where you are. You can’t hide her from life, and you can’t follow her around shadowing her.”

I guess it can’t be helped, if your the little sister. This is how you get thought of, even when you’re an adult. That I need protecting. Hello, I have life skills!

“Oh please, don’t you dare think you can lecture me on protecting my sister! You knew this Gabby wolf hated her. And yet you regularly saw their interactions get worse and worse and you did nothing! You let her get into fights!”

“I let her handle her own fights. If I didn’t think she could handle Gabby, I would’ve stepped in. She can handle Gabby.”

“Oh please, the girl is no fighter. She’s not like you and me Paris. She’s no Alpha.”

It’s true, in terms of werewolf fighting, my skills are fairly average. But if I was fighting a human, well, I’d look like some sort of prized champion by comparison, really. I find myself leaning closer to the closed door and turning my ear towards it, even though, there’s no need. I can hear perfectly what they’re saying about me. What they’re not saying about me. I lean forward on the doors and push them open so both Bodil and Paris turn to look at me as I walk in, pushing the doors aside.

“I’m a werewolf through and through, and that’s a danger in itself, whether your a human or wolf. And that’s all I need to be. So back the fuck down, both of you.”

Bodil’s eyebrows shoot up as her eyes widen. Paris looks back at me and smiles broadly.


Lucky

August 9, 2010
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“You’re lucky.” My sister tells me, sighing as she lays down, an ice pack across her forehead.

“How so?” I ask curiously, already knowing what she’s going to say, but wanting to hear it all the same.

“You’re not an Alpha. You don’t have to put up with the same bullshit I do.” Bodil replies back at me, pressing the icepack to her forehead.  She’s already shape shifted her injuries and aches and pains from fighting away.  But she didn’t hold wolf form for long. “And you don’t get the side effects of a quick shape shift.  Trust me, that makes you very lucky.” Bodil moans.

Because life moves on and requires her to be in her human form to get other pack business done, in an all too timely manner.  Fast shape shifting, is an Alpha specialty.  They can bring on they’re own shape shift and that of other wolves, too, rather fast if needed. And they can essentially, shut it down just as fast.  But there are side affects from fast shape shifting, and not holding werewolf form long enough. They vary in degrees of severity, but it’s one of the drawbacks.  Migraines, are a special side affect my sister often experiences, from one of these quick shape shifts.

*****************************************************************************************************

“You’re lucky.” My brother Markus says to me with a half smile. As I shovel the last piece of bacon off the plate and into my mouth.  “That phone call distracted me, otherwise I’d have grabbed the bacon.”

“You snooze, you lose.” I reply back at him. He arches an eyebrow up at me in response. “Are you like the only werewolf I know who doesn’t know how to do two things at once?” His eyes go wide at me now and he laughs. 

“Are you like the only werewolf I know, who doesn’t put all they’re attention and focus on the task at hand when required, instead of spreading themselves thin doing too much of everything?” Markus fires back at me. 

My mouth clamps shut.  Markus is a beta wolf like me. He’s a good solider wolf. He does what’s required of him, for the pack, for others, for himself. I always thought I was the golden child in our family, but now his statement makes me think I’ve been seeing myself in too eager a bright light.  He makes me sound like the loose cannon in our family.  We’re all quite different in personality and temperament and werewolf abilities and duties. But surely not?

***********************************************************************************************

“You’re lucky.” Sonny the Seattle Alki sighs down the phone line at me. “You’ve got Paris, you’ve got a great packmate in him.”

“Thanks, I think.  I am aware of how great a guy he is.”

“Not just the guy, the wolf too.” Sonny goes on.  “He’s the whole package, a werewolf could ever want in a packmate.”  I think about arguing the point, it depends what you want in a packmate back at Sonny, but decide not to.  He is everything I want in a packmate.  He’s beautiful, strong, dependable, fiercely loyal. He makes me feel desired, loved and wanted. He helps me shape shift, he lets me pick my battles and figures out ways to let me fight them, without insulting my intelligence by giving him all the control over them.

*****************************************************************************************************

“You’re lucky.” Gabby, the female Alpha from the Manhattan Maen pack mutters at me, her  eyes glancing across at me, before darting away again. “That I don’t smash your face in.” She says fast enough for me to hear as she walks past me, without breaking stride.  I have no idea why she’s being so hostile towards me now. We’ve been good lately, at least for the last four days.  Maybe’s because the last time we had a run in, I kind of broke her nose and I didn’t get told off for it.  I’ve deliberately avoided being around her.  Maybe it’s a territorial thing.  Me being from another pack, and being involved with the Alpha from her pack, really seems to irk her.  Then again, it could be any number of reasons with Gabby as to why she dislikes me so.  She wouldn’t be the first female werewolf I’ve come across who didn’t like me.  Female wolves can be the ultimate bitches, trust me.

*****************************************************************************************************

“You’re lucky.” Bohm a beta wolf from the Manhattan Maen says to me with a warm smile. “That I was there for you.” I shake his hand and nod my head. It’s my first meeting with the werewolf male, I beat the crap out of, after my last run in with Gabby. Trust me when I say, circumstances called for it.  Being a werewolf ain’t for the faint hearted, you will be tested, over and over again.  I still can’t bring myself to feel good about beating him up, even though he and Paris assure me, all is well and good.

“Won’t happen again.” I reply. Bohm shrugs his shoulders and keeps smiling.

“No problems if it does, bit of a heads up would be good, but no probs.” He says back at me.  Just like that, a good werewolf falls into line, does what he’s told, sucks it up and comes back for more.  Maybe it’s just a male werewolf thing, I tend to think they embrace the violence that surrounds our lives, more than females. Well, me at least. 

*****************************************************************************************************

“You’re lucky, I wasn’t settled yet.” Addison mock growls at me, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he raises up off his seat and heads back past the pool, towards the bar, to refill the sangria jug for me.  I try not to look too pleased with myself, behind my wrap sunglasses.  After all, a beta werewolf ordering an Alpha werewolf around, unheard of!  Well, not unheard of, just unreal.  There is a structure in a wolf pack, and that includes hierarchy and all werewolves adhere to it. It’s how the pack works.  Beta wolves are not exactly considered lesser wolves than Alphas, since we tend to make up the majority of most packs.  But it’s like having the rich and the middle class levels of society in a pack, kind of, if you get my meaning.  Alpha’s are above us, and do not have to do, as we Beta wolves do.  Generally speaking, because being an Alpha werewolf entails more than the average werewolf.  So they’re under a whole other set of expectations, rules and circumstances as well as the normal things that apply to Beta wolves. But we Beta wolves, have to do as our Alpha would tell us to do.  It’s how it works.  Besides, I wasn’t ordering Addison around, I was whining and pleading cause I didn’t want to get out of the pool and Addison was closer to the bar than me.

************************************************************************************************

“I’m lucky.” I look up at Paris. “That you are never not up for this.” I’m being cheeky I know, but it’s true. The werewolf before me, only ever helps me and loves me and wants me and appreciates me, in all forms that I come in. Woman, human, werewolf, beta wolf, stupid girl, party girl, bad fighter, Breukelen pack wolf.  I wrap my legs around his hips, pulling myself upwards with him. He kisses me hard and his face hovers close to mine. So All I can see is him.

*******************************************************************************************************

“I’m lucky.” Paris sighs, blue eyes looking down at me. “That you’re all mine.”


The Art of Shape Shifting

August 2, 2010
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Shape shifting, is an artform as much as a natural ability to those of us who have it.  

Because shape shifting, can be a beautiful thing, that amazes and intrigues anyone who watches it and therefore understands it.  Or it can be an ugly, hard, painful and more grotesque form of processed torture if you don’t have control of it, understand it or have factors influencing you as you go through it.

 I should know that later – I’ve had a few bad shape shifts in my time.

So I probably shouldn’t be surprised then, that artist Justin Lowe (Non – at least, pretty sure he’s a non.) has created a new art installation at the Wadsworth Atheneum, that is entitled Werewolf Karoke / Matrix 159 He says the art piece is about, in a sense, shape shifting.  Of course, Justin doesn’t mean to the furry animal kind of shifting.  He’s an artist darling, it would of course, have more perplex and complex, double meanings than something so baser and simple.  He means, about perceptions, that people, have of themselves and others, in various environments. His piece is a recreation of an old defunct nightclub bathroom.

Though it’s nice of him, this werewolf thinks, to link Werewolves and the Matrix together.  I get the perception thing, between the two.  You can be who you are, or you can be who you’re meant to be.  Nice little message of self affirmation.  Who knew art had such self belief? Oh wait, that’s pretty much all art is, self belief.  

And I also think Keanu Reeves, is a very pretty man.  

Love me some Keanu.

Keanu as werewolf, mmmm me love you long time.

I don’t think it’s that surprising that non’s would choose to associate with the idea of shape shifting (whether they be artists or not). 

Humans are forever changing themselves, by appearance, by beliefs and ideals.  It’s done, quite often through out their life spans.  You do it to accommodate people, to be closer to people, to fit in, to stand out, to be noticed, to blend in.  It’s kind of like, Justin Lowe’s Werewolf Karaoke/Matrix concept in a way. It’s about how we appear to other people versus how you want to be seen, really.  It’s about lack of identity and need for culture versus stereotyping a culture and claiming one’s identity through it.  It’s about changing ourselves to better ourselves, to experience our lives in different ways, because, quite frankly, we can.  

Why do the same thing all the time, when you don’t have to?

The shape shifting of perception, or moving some’s mindset, is definitely a human trait, that werewolves take on and incorporate into their daily lives a lot. But for werewolves, the shifting of perceptions thrown onto them, is more of an inbuilt survival need. To protect their true identity, to blend in with their human counterparts and to keep their culture alive, by not endangering it.

Still, now I’m rather intrigued about Justin Lowe’s art piece and think after I watch me some Matrix (the original, the best), sing some Karoke (Hungry like the wolf?  Of wolf and man – anyone?)  I might go check out his art and see what is what.


Hiding in plain sight

July 20, 2010
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Why can’t the werewolves one day reveal themselves to the people (Humans)?

So far, human history has suggested to the werewolf that not being completely out in the open is the safest form of survival for werewolves.  Past history has shown us that if you get a fanatical personality involved they can whip up a mob mentality that doesn’t seem to think straight or see reason.  Or want to, when dealing with something they don’t fully understand. 

There are instances (like every now and then) when you’ll find a werewolf comes clean and tells a human about themself.  Some of us get to a point where you find you have to, like if your trying to be in a relationship (human and werewolf) with one.  But it’s not encouraged, because not only are you asking the human to comprehend something that they’d probably never thought possible, and thus upsetting their thought process of what is what and can be.  But you’re also asking them to accept werewolves as they are and then to keep that a secret too.

Then there’s rammifications.  If you do reveal werewolves amongst humans, you risk the reaction turning out badly and endangering not only yourself, but others, like your pack and other packs.  You get the whole, ripple in the pond effect.

Won’t one day people just get use to it and you guys won’t have to hide?

I’d like to think so.

But humans are a delicate bunch.  They often fear what they don’t know.  And they fear as a first reaction too.  Not everyone embraces change, or difference.   When humans can get to the stage of more temperament for more than one religious train of thought, all human rights, equal pay, sexuality being being more than one ideal, maybe then it’ll happen.


Animal logic

July 19, 2010
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“He’s in Town with a Few Days to Kill.

Park. Pull over. And Pray.” – Predator 2

My brother Markus and I recently held a Predator movie marathon in the spirit of getting familiar again with all the Predator movies before we go off and see the newest one of them all – Predators.  Yes, plural.  Put an S on the end and hello, marketing genius!

Predator 2 is again a movie that the werewolves of New York can possibly relate to quite easily.  It’s not all about the bloodshed and killing either.

This time, because it’s set in a city (Los Angeles) and the Predator, has to deal with a different landscape, and personalities encountered in the urban jungle, rather than the environmental jungle, like in the first movie.

As in the first movie, the Predator engages in stalking and hunting it’s prey, by watching the strongest or best, if you will, fighters in a gun fight.  The predator, doesn’t want an easy target, not that it doesn’t collect a few weaklings on the way, because hey, fun and kill ratio.  But ultimately, it wants a worthy competitor, which is why it chooses  Lieutenant Mike Harrigan from the LAPD (Danny Glover) to go one on one with.

A werewolf will willingly go into almost any fight you present it with.  Because fighting to us, is quite natural and well, in a sense of some kind, fun. Sometimes, most of the times. Well, you know, when you’re in human form and you know, you can push the boundaries of your body and you want to.  But really, a werewolf will only fight a worthy, opponent when in wolf form or if they really have to.  There will be some good reasoning behind it.

Like the Predator, we won’t jump into any old situation, or be provoked easily. We have more brains than that, even when in werewolf form.

Again, the attraction for us werewolves to the Predator is one of similarity.  The Predator has to cope in the city environment like we do.  It has to be smart and essentially hide its true self – so it cloaks itself to become invisible.  Werewolves whilst not A) Aliens or B) invisible – but damn, wouldn’t that be cool ? – quite often have to hide our werewolf self from the everyday populace.  Because werewolves roaming the street, all furry and what not, would freak people out.  Freaked out people panic. Panic becomes reaction and then you find bad situations arise.  People don’t think when they’re in a react mode.

Like the Predator alien, when in animal form, werewolves, will be far more aggressive in nature than in human form. If we sense your fear and panic and you run in front of us, we’ll think it means we can go hunting. Namely, you.  It’s animal logic.  It just switches on and it’s hard to see past it and switch if off when your in tribal form and you get the notion of hunting prey, and bloodshed in your mind.

However, there is a disconcernable difference that werewolves don’t share with the Predator. We don’t hunt for fun. At least, not any werewolves I know of.  I know of a Lycan that does, since she once decided to hunt me, all because I just happened to be a werewolf in her existence.  No other real reasoning to it.  If you’ve read my post on that little life experience before, we haven’t lost sight of her completely.

Ultimately whilst we only see one Predator playing games with the human casualties in this movie, we find out in the end, that of course, there is more than one. Which leads me to presume, they hunt as a pack.  Maybe they just split into groups.  Or maybe it’s like a competition between them, each Predator goes their own way and see who gets the most human trophies – body count and skulls.

I haven’t  hunted in a pack formation, because I haven’t really hunted before.  There’s been no need in my life. I’m a city werewolf, growing up in a concrete jungle and dealing with female logic in life, dating, sex, shoes and relationships. That kind of thing, more than enough to work my brain around majority of the time.

But I still feel the urge to hunt, when I shape shift. It could be called a kind of restlessness within.  In particular when I shape shift in the outdoors. Pack hunting is not unheard of with werewolves.  It can be quite useful when taking down a larger enemy or piece of prey that has good defenses.  Whist there is also safety in numbers, there is also strength in numbers and the ability to overpower the prey in question.

The biggest association that attracts most of the werewolves I know, who are fans of the various Predator movies, is the almost indestructible nature of the Predator alien.  We see that in ourselves.  We understand the thought that you can just do the things the Predator does, because you’ve got superior abilities.

Of course, living as humans and sharing the nature of the werewolf means, we can’t flaunt that ability. It’s part and parcel of what restricts the werewolf.


The Archetype

June 12, 2010
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I read somewhere by either a werewolf psychologist or an author, I can’t remember which, that werewolves represent non’s (humans if you will) anger, and fear of insanity.

Then I read a dream interpreter of a werewolf – presumably to non’s again, that werewolves represent repressed anger and uncontrollable violence and a fear for lack of control in your personal life.

It’s annoying that non’s seem to have taken on the idea of notion of werewolves as a stereotype, or worse, an archetype of being. That is to say, that non’s and non’s alike, seem to think very one dimensionally about what a werewolf is and could be.

Again, the idea of the rage and lack of control ride high next to the concept that we’re monsters. The reality is, these descriptions are based more on lycans with their anger management issues, not werewolves (yes there is a difference, read through my blog and see) and the monster werewolf, is really stuff of legend.

Maybe once, upon a long time ago, werewolves knew no better, didn’t understand what was happening to them. There might have been a time far back in the past that this applied to. But that time has passed. Werewolves have evolved and changed. And yet the perceptions remain the same.

I can tell you right now, being a werewolf (literally) that it’s not my anger, rage, fear of insanity (as if I am insane!) that rules me or even makes me, me.

Being a werewolf is about something, that makes much more sense, and rules your life and being. That many non’s seem to take for granted or assume they know and know well. At least, for themselves.

Being a werewolf is about identity.

How can it not be? Think about the how we all grow and go for life. About how who we are, changes, in particular at certain stages in our life – childhood, puberty, adulthood. Now think about that and add on this other part to your being, to your life, that you can only fully understand physically. Because the rest of it, is based on instinct and animal curiosities and way of thinking, that regular non’s don’t have to use. Don’t have to deal with, and never, open their minds to.

Is it like being two different people? Or like having an evil twin? Is it like the best of both worlds, or a confusion of the two?

It’s many things to many wolves, and to narrow us down to some crude concept of mass appeal to reach out to a global audience, is not oral history being repeated for the sake of anything good. It’s ignorance, plain and simple.

You don’t know us, you don’t get us, so you do what non’s do. You fear us and you believe in your irrationality of what we are because you maybe once saw it in a movie.

Well I’d like to say to that psychologist and the dream interpretation, you don’t know me, so you can’t define me. And you haven’t lived my life, being as I am, a werewolf, so you’ll never have a clue about what it means to be a werewolf.
You’ll only ever think you know.

But I know, and I know me.


Let me tell you

June 2, 2010
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Q) I just wanted to know, but if a werewolf dated a non, and are really close, are they allowed to tell their partner they’re a werewolf?

A) Hmmm. That is a tricky question.  Werewolves have been known to date nons (non werewolves ie humans etc) before. Including this werewolf herself.  Of course, that has never worked out for me (but more on that some other time).

Let me tell you, from my own personal experience I have never told any human I’ve dated, that I’m a werewolf. Ever.  In fact the only person I’ve told outside of pack who is a ‘non’ is my friend Aimee.  Who I’ve known for the last five years.

And even that was like a no-go zone.   In the Breukelen Pack, it’s a standing ground rule that you NOT tell nons what you are.  However, this rule has been broken more than once, by at least both myself and my sister that I can think of.

Even though the outcome both times, was eventually, good and recieved as to be expected. We both got reprimanded for our actions.  We broke a basic pack rule.  As decreed by the leading pack Alpha.  The Alpha (wether he’s your father or not) must enforce the law/rules he decrees.So punishment can be varied but must be dolled out.  At least, this is true of my pack.  We’ve both been reprimanded for it.

Ideally, we’d like to be able to tell them.

But it depends on how your Alpha rules on this decision.  If you were in a serious, long term, or close relationship, you might be able to present your case to the Alpha to be allowed to tell your partner that you’re a werewolf.

But first you’e got to have the guts to approach the Alpha on this dicey topic.

Then, you’ve got to have the guts to inform your partner, that you’re a werewolf.

Only the truly brave, enter into this heartfelt territory.


The human element

May 15, 2010
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Another formspringme set of questions:

Q) What happens to human’s who are posing as werewolves? Calling themselves an Alpha and all that? Are they left Alone as long as they pose no threat? What if they do?

First of all, I’m not sure how a human could pose as a werewolf. I mean if all they did was go around saying ” I’m the great and powerful Werewolf of New York, you will bow down to me blah blah blah..” I think they’d find out soon enough that most people, whether human, werewolf or supernatural in anyway, just don’t tolerate that kind of bullshit behaviour. Especially in New York!
Hello! have you met us NU Yawkers?!! We’re cool and all, but dude, cross a Bronx person….well, nothing soft comes out of the Bronx.

So I would think that just saying you’re a werewolf and hoping to intimidate people or get by on your word of mouth reputation alone, would get blown open and found out pretty damn quickly.

I mean naive, the werewolf is not. We’ve been having to work on survival and how to balance the human element of life with the wolf element, for a very long time. We are a lineage after all.

But if a human were going around pretending or posing, as you put it, somehow as an Alpha werewolf I think they would’ve just about signed up to be beaten to death.

Most Alpha wolves would considered a grave insult. A slight against them and werewolves in general and a tarnishing on their reputation and pack. Alpha’s do not like to be considered weak, or easy or dumb. Part of the whole, they’re more “superior” in genetic make up than us, that comes through as well in their behaviour patterns.

I’m not sure I can truthfully tell you what would happen to the human going around posing as a werewolf. Again, it would depend on the leading Alpha in question who would of course get to have the final say and ruling on what should be done if it at all.

Some Alpha’s are very old school in their way of thinking. Very traditional without much flexibility on anything. They’d take the highest form of punishment available for a slight like this. Then again, other’s from different packs, I’d like to think NYC’s would probably let it slide. Maybe spook the human into behaving or something without having to do all that much.

It’s kind of like you said, it would depend on whether they were a threat of some kind to a pack or wolf or whether they were just a crazy human and how much pride and sensibility was involved on the Alpha werewolf’s part.

I guess you could say it’s kind of a way to define who’s a really good pack leader and not, when they don’t sweat the small stuff and know just what to do with the big problems in life.


The Werewolf superhero

April 19, 2010
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You know, we all play roles in life.

Roles that are more often than not, assigned to us. That we are almost entirely railroaded into thinking are what we ourselves are meant to be. By influence and various personalities. They all play their part in shaping us.

I’m a strong believer in being yourself.

But I think for the majority of the population, that’s a very hard thing, to truthfully do.

Add to that being a werewolf and you might get an idea of how complicated my life can be. I mean, it’s like being two faced, in a sense, having to lie some times, as a means of protection. Having to hide who you truly are from those (humans) that are close to you. It’s kind of like, well, you never really get to be you.
Which is sad in a way.

I’ve worked at being me. To figure out who I am, the real me, the whole me and nothing but that me. I strive to balance the werewolf part of my life, which is obviously a big part of it, with me fitting into a very real, and very human world.

Maybe I should be clothed from the superhero store in Brooklyn. To fit a a look that is sought out.
I might be more accepted this way. As a superhero rather than a werewolf. Maybe a werewolf superhero? Do we have one of those yet? I mean seriously, I could give Wonder Woman and Storm a run for their money too if I had a snazzy corseted unitard on.

I am lucky in my family that knowing how much we have to portray to our pack, that I have been allowed to be myself, much more so than my older sister, an Alpha female. Older siblings, they carry so much responsibility just because they come first in the lineage. I am not required to be the warrior that she is. I am not the centre that must hold like my father. I am not the shield that my brother Markus is. How people see you, and you respond to them is like varies shades of your personality.

It’s why you can be one thing to one person and a whole other type of person to someone else. Werewolf’s are not averse to this phenomenon. In fact, we’re more prone to being everything to everyone because of having to at times in our life, undoubtedly, hide what we are. Part and parcel I guess of being misunderstood. Of having a image marketed incorrectly by the likes of hollywood etc.

Still, I could really go for one of those superhero capes and maybe some sort of gadgets like Batman has. Maybe the new lunar watch could be tricked out to you know, make me invisible or something. Hmmm. That has scary potential. An invisible werewolf. “the ultimate assassin!”

Not that I plan on being an assian, la femme nikita unless my name is Bridget Fonda or Modesty Blaise. Definitely Modesty, she rocks. I’ve only read one of those books, but she was so freak’n cool. Although, that wouldn’t really make me a superhero would it?

More like a villan…hmmm, which would mean i should then go on survivor heroes and villans and kick major ass!! Totally use my advantageous abilities over those suckers.

Hmm, quick somebody hand me a sign up sheet!


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