A Werewolf Blog in Brooklyn

Wolves: the new fashion icon

September 12, 2010
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Werewolves are so fashionable, that we’ve got our own T-shirts. Well, we seem to inspire them a lot. I’ve written about them before on this blog.

Like the infamous 3 Wolves and Moon T-shirt, which I have to say, I heard some bizarre off hand comment the other day about that at least one of the wolves in question might be from Niew Teme pack. Well, it kind of sounded that way. I mean, it was vague at the best but, something about what was being said made me link it back to the t-shirt in question. Kind of like little lights going off in my head you know?

Anyway, there seems to be a mystical quality that surrounds most of these animalistic t shirts. Maybe it’s the nature of the wolf, it’s connection to the werewolf. Maybe it’s because animals are cool and should only be used to symbolize fashion’s coolness rather than be used in it for it’s skin or lab testing abilities. Animals endure and endure, in those things, only because human’s don’t get their voices, or listen to them. Only because humans think they’re the dominate ones over animals.

Anyway, I’m getting side tracked here. T-shirts, it’s about the t-shirts. The wolf t-shirts, they seem to be forever spawning.

I came across this one, inspired by the very funny movie, The Hangover. I’ve found it rather awesome and just had to share and am now thinking of buying for my little brother Joss.

It’s based on Alan, doing his wolf pack speech.

Seems appropriate for my brother since he rather likes being a player.

lol.

So check out the One Man Wolf Pack Tshirt.


Contending

August 21, 2009
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Family, you can’t live with them you can’t disown them.

Well, you can actually. And I do, live with them, that is. Some of them. Bodil and Aksel live out of home and Markus is barely ever around.  So really it’s just me, Joss, Dad and Annabeth.

But sometimes, even that’s too much.  Let me tell you having genetics that make you part animal, make you feel part animal at times. Like you’re caged by the walls that shelter you at home.  By the people that protect you.

Being half-breed sure gives meaning to sensation of restlessness, of needing space.  Normal life intrudes all the time and you can’t focus on anything else, because you can’t escape the cover of normalacy that keeps your life in order, your identity secret. Your safety in check by it’s mundane rules and expectations that you go through the regular moitions of what you must because you must.

Maybe I’m just pissed off cause in a couple of days it’ll be my birthday. I dunno, I’ve never really enjoyed my birthday.

Then again, were-wolves feel things when there’s no lunar cycle, I mean, part of us is always the wolf, deep, deep down inside. Just lunar weeks make it all incredibly more real.  I guess I don’t really acknowledge my wolf when its not a lunar week. I keep her at bay a lot of the time.

Part of that whole secret identity thing I’ve had to deal with my whole life, balancing who you are versus what you are, making you in the end, who you contend with.


the catch up

July 17, 2009
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I can’t find the rest of Aimee’s note but the short version of the note is this.

She knows!

Well, she knows something. At least she suspects she does, but then we did consume an entire bottle of tequila and most of a vodka bottle between us…so she was a bit hung over and unsure when writing the note to me.

But she says she can’t shake the image of what she saw, or thinks she saw.

And she explained to me that I was in bed, because she found me, at some part of the night, curled up on the floor, naked, outside the room she was sleeping in (Aksel’s old room / the guest room now) and I was shivering and apparently, whimpering.   She says she woke me up, walked me back to my room and I just got in bed and went straight to sleep, like nothing was amiss.

I don’t remember it at all.

She says she thinks I might have been sleep walking or in a sleep walking state at the time because I wasn’t very coherant.

Man, Conall and his bombshell really did a number on my mojo.

I don’t know why I let it get to me.

I mean, I’ve known all along that Conall and I aren’t a right fit. We’ve never worked smoothly together, it’s always been this rocky relationship thing between us.

I can’t figure out if I’m more upset about the fact that he’s having a baby with another woman, or that he doesn’t seem to care about the other woman having his baby.

He’s tried to speak to me about it. But I just haven’t been ready to talk or listen to that story yet.

I never thought we’d have forever, but I guess i figured, we’d be okay in the end and we’d be together, somehow. Even now as I write this, its making me upset. Shit.  Why Conall? I’ve been avoiding both him and Aimee for the past few days, as much as I can.  Aimee’s more persistant than Conall though. She wants to talk!

Talk!

Why does everyone suddenly want to talk at me. Ugh. I need space, to digets, to clear my head, to harden my heart and to build some resolve. It doesn’t help either that we (Father and I) have had an almost full house for the past week of live in guests either.  I mean, Markus still has a room here and so do both Bodil and Joss.  But Joss normally flitters between here and Annabeth’s house. Markus is rarely ever around and Bodil has her own place.  Aksel’s even joined us all for dinner for a few nights. Highly unusal let me tell you.  I think something is up with him. But he hasn’t said. He’s not to good with his emoitions, Aksel. But you can always tell, at least I can tell when somethings up with him, because his behaviour pattern changes. Normally we don’t see him for months or only when father calls, does he really come running. Or when Bodil’s fighting. Which she hasn’t been doing a lot of lately because apparently dad banned her (Finally).

So no more voyeristic underground blood sports viewing for Breukelen Girl. Yippee! Now, if I could just conquer the boyfriend who’s having a baby with another woman problem and the bestfriend who wants to talk about wearing fur, rather than going naked on a full moon night!!!! Ahhh.


Almost conversation

June 29, 2009
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I’m still kind of freaked out about the “almost conversation “ I had with Aimee the other day.

I was going to get a hold of my sister to see if she could maybe come up with some idea for how I should handle it.

We’ve been raised to be strong, smart and well, I think guarded is how I’d describe it. I mean, we’ve never been told not to be ourselves. But we’ve always been told to respect others and accept certainties.

People often fear what they don’t know or can’t understand.

People hurt easily, and not always just from physical hits to them.

People are fragile, whilst not everyone shows this, it doesn’t  always take much to crack emotional barriers. You just have to recognise that you’ve done it, that’s the part that usually stuffs people up.

I was hanging out at home, wondering how I’m going to handle this situation, when end up talking to my brother Joss. He’s telling me about some drama in his social life and I find myself re-telling him about Aimee’s remarks at me.

Joss is the baby of the family, so maybe the parenting’s been a little different for him, than it was with the rest  of us kids, Aksel, Bodil, Markus and me.  Because Joss doesn’t have a sense of responsibility, or of caution. He’s living is life out loud and in a secure, environment and community in Brooklyn. He’s never tried to hide any part of himself but then again, I’ve never seen him confronted about it either. I mean, this was I guess you could say, my first confrontation. Normally I wouldn’t take advice off of him. He’s twenty-one and knows nothing much of the world at large, so he’s hardly an authority on anything.

But he said something that made sense.

There’s no point living your life in fear.

There’s no point living your life to other people’s expectations on you.

Because then it’s not your life.

True enough.

But how do you tell someone you care about, something that is bound to upset them and possibly make them, want to cut all ties with you?

I’ve known Aimee for five years.

I’ve told her bits about my family, but not everything.  I mean how do you explain such a big thing, that’s always been a part of your life, of who you are, when the whole idea of it seems to unreal to fathom?

Granted, some people know.  Especially those living in pack areas.  But it’s not  wildly accepted.  We don’t exactly mainstream it. Because there are still people who persecute our kind.

I somehow thought I wouldn’t need to tell Aimee. That we could be best friends and I could just be in control of this part of my life without needing to do more about it. I mean, if I don’t want to talk about it, to tell her about it, then that’s my right. It’s not because I don’t trust her. It’s more a case of I’m scared she will just not see me for me anymore. And suddenly she’ll hate me and I’ll loose a really great friend.

Joss said I had to have faith in friendship.

You choose these people, make connections with them, wether they’re non-’s or not, for a reason.  Because there’s a strength in connection between us.  He thinks the worst thing I could do, is carry on, even longer, without talking the whole thing through with her.

I’ve never had a reason to not believe the best in her. But like I said, something’s scare people, even if it is about those they know.  I’ve never had reason to believe anything bad would come to me, but still, there is a pit of fear you have to overcome or just come to accept is going to rule you.

I’m unusual in my family.

I guess I thought, I could seek this life outside of what was presented to me as what the others had to have.

I wanted friends other than Conall’s, I made them against others advice to get so involved with them.

I wanted to date nons even though it was looked down upon by those closest to me.

Maybe part of me, thought that somehow it would all just change if it worked out. If I could be normal.

Of course I seemed to have ignored the fact, that from the day of my birth, and subsequent, abandonment, that  I’ve never really had a normal life.


men trouble

June 22, 2009
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Must be a thing in our family, the women having men trouble.

Let’s see theirs Annabeth, Dad’s love interest and partner for the last thirty or so years.  They met one another some time after my sister Bodil’s mother died.

Annabeth and dad adopted me. So Annabeth’s the only mother I’ve ever known. Which is fine by me, she’s a great mother, and a wonderful woman.

But growing up was weird in our house.

I mean it’s still an odd arrangement that somehow works and that we’ve all gotten used too.

Annabeth lives separately to us.  Totally independent from dad.  Weirder still, is that dad and Annabeth have a child together, the youngest of us all, Joss. He lives with Annabeth.

Yet she helped dad raise, Markus and Aksel and my sister Bodil.  I can see how we might look like a complex family.  But I think it’s only logistics that make it so rather than heritage and parentage.

Annabeth and dad have never married.

I have no idea why.

All us kids like to guess that Annabeth lives separately in her own place to teach my dad a lesson or something. We like to rag on him and keep telling him to produce the goods, a big, chunky shiny rocking ring, which usually elicits a serious growl of disapproval from him.

So this is where I think the men trouble in our family starts.

Then if you go down the line in terms of females and men trouble,  Bodil and her issues would come next.

She doesn’t get involved with guys all that often, sorry let me correct that, relationships, she doesn’t get involved with all that often.  I’m not sure when she started having her troubles.

It’s always been either, commitment phobic or totally overload the plate with what you want, with her.

She IS the girlfriend from hell.  Seems to me like she’s always like this, doesn’t seem like there’s never anyone who doesn’t want to know her on some level.

But that’s the thing about Bodil.

She attracts people to her, she’s one of those types of people that seem to radiate a certain energy that drawers people in.  Maybe that’s part of the trouble with her. After all, she has a close knit circle of friends, half of them male and I’m fairly certain at some point in time she’s dated or made out with each of them.

Well maybe not Gabe.

And I’m not sure about Booker either, but he is hot, so why wouldn’t you?

Unless he’s got a girlfriend, which I’m not sure about.  Come to think of it, I don’t really know all that much about her friends.

Only Nick and Boden I guess.

They’re always hanging around wherever Bodil is, when ever a pow-wow is called.

Which is where I suspect the trouble comes in.

Boden’s been Bodil’s childhood friend. They grew up together, have known each other their whole lives.  So you’d think that maybe they’d be more like brother and sister than boyfriend and girlfriend.  They act cool around each other. But half the time I think they’re putting on a show for one another and holding back.

I don’t know why.

Boden’s a great guy, understands lore, understands my sister, worships the ground she walks on and it doesn’t hurt that he’s fine eye candy either.

Might be because of Nick.

I think back in the day of long past now, Nick and Bodil might have dated for awhile. They’re not together now, but they’re still friends, so you have to assume the break-up wasn’t so terrible.

Unless they’re pretending.

Which now that I think about, seems like my sister and her friends maybe do that, a lot with one another.  You observe them enough, you pick up on stuff.

But I’m not one to talk either. Except, I guess through this blog – LOL!

As if figuring out “men” wasn’t enough, then add  another one and you get my problems, with Aaron versus Conall.  Sounds like a new reality TV show doesn’t it?

I’ve kind of got a crush on Aaron. I met him through a different group of mutual friends than my regular friends and every time I see him, I think we get a little closer, get to know each other a little better.

Which is nice and kind of scary at the same time.

Enter Conall.

We’ve known each other for a few years and we’ve been known to hook up. Most of my friends are Conall’s friends. Half the time I think I’m only accepted because I’m with Conall. He doesn’t like Aaron. Says I shouldn’t date him. NOT that I’m dating him!

Hell I haven’t even kissed him yet! Talk about jumping the gun!

Men!

Think they know everything.


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