A Werewolf Blog in Brooklyn

Bg’s Xmas Wish list Part 1

November 28, 2012
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You know the song, and the line “He’s making a list and he’s checking it twice, going to find out

Who’s naughty or nice.”  Well, I’m pretty sure I know what category I fall under and I decided to make my own xmas wish list, it’s rather incomplete but I can update it before xmas, so here goes:

1. Less Kardashians it’s how you’ll achieve peace on earth

2. The end of all that is Twilight – if anyone can pull this off, surely it’s the big guy!

3. For K-Stew to be ripped apart by a werewolf

4. For R-Patz to turn into said werewolf and rip K-Stew apart

5. For tickets to the public viewing of said werewolf ripping apart to be made available to moi (see no 3,4 &5 for clarification)

6. For women to realise that 50 shades of grey is incredibly LAME and appreciate the men they have got!

7. The death of Anastasia Steele. Preferably by Patrick Bateman – now that, would be worth reading! (see no 6 for clarification)

8. For teenwolf to make sense again. Please.

9. Stiles. Gift-wrapped on my front door on xmas day.

10. If Stiles from Teenwolf can not be obtained, please feel free to substitute with Dyson from Lost Girl (see no 9 for clarification).

11. A werewolf Lego fighter figurine. Awesome.

12. A blue suit like the one in “Gangam style” video clip. I could so rock that.

13. The destruction of reality TV shows and the dead heads who put themselves on them

14. Firefly back on TV as a continuing TV series

15. More Brad Pitt endorsing Chanel Perfume advertising. It’s a public service we say thank you Mister Pitt

16. Hurricanes to fuck right off

17. Politicians to lock their fucking egos up and just do their jobs

18. For people who do the whole “Like this if you believe in this dude / if you don’t like this you have no heart” on facebook to be raptured off the face of the earth and transported to a poorly performed star trek convention for the rest of their natural lives

19. No more Bieber / One direction records to be played anywhere near my ears. EVER AGAIN.

20. No more pop stars as movie stars movies (YOU ARE NOT ACTORS JUST BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN IN A MUSIC VIDEO!)

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MotherF*cking Snakes on Teen Wolf

July 24, 2012
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Teen Wolf, Episode 7.

Huzzah, I made it this far.

So we start of the episode with the kanima (lizard monster ) killing the husband of a couple who are living in a trailer in the woods. We can see that there is indeed another mysterious figure somehow involved in controlling the kanama

But then if this kanima is killing people, how can it be Jackson? Because Jackson is at the police station looking smug as Stiles and Scott are getting served, a restraining order against them for kidnapping and locking up Jackson in the last twenty four hours.

So maybe it is Lydia who is also a kanima, and that’s why she passed the previous poisoning test. Because at this point in time, we don’t know where Lydia is, unless we believe the writers are sticking to the last episode, which means she’s at her house getting harassed by strange new boy.

But why would we believe the writers of this show?

Scott’s Mum is ripping Scott a new one and it’s well past time for that. It was getting very hard to believe that she didn’t have a freaking clue about what her son has been up to so late at night and failing so badly at school.

Cut to Derek and his pack of newbie werewolves who are itching to go after the Argents rather than be locked up for the upcoming full moon. Yes, apparently we’re back on a full moon, even though there was one a few episodes ago. I’m not getting the time line in this show, the episodes appear to connect based on a daily dealings but then to say a month has passed because the next full moon is coming…ahhhh.

Derek argues with Issac about how they HAVE TO FIND THE KANIMA. Blah, blah, blah, tenuous link and reasoning why.

You’re werewolves mother fuckers, you don’t have to do shit! And Derek seems more and more like a whimp than an alpha when he talks about the kaiama or the Argents – what a waste.

And now it appears it’s the next day and Allison is passing secret messages to Scott and Stiles in the Library and surprise, surprise, we’re being led onto the path of the kanama is supposed to be a werewolf but it can’t be until it’s past issues are resolved. And what if that has something to do with Jackson’s biological parents??

Well the writers will probably let us know it’s an “either or thing” in an episode of two from now.

Cut to man of the hour and Jackson is in the science lab and looking at various creepy crawlies in a large glass display. But he seems particularly fascinated with the one housing the snakes. And here’s were shit gets interesting, Jackson opens up the lid of the glass display and picks up a snake.

Watching in fascination as it slides over his arm and and around his neck and up into Jackson’s mouth. Jackson closes his eyes as the snake goes completely into his mouth! If you’ve ever had a dirty desire to know what Jackson might look like giving fellatio, this is the scene to pay attention to.

Just as he finishes swallowing the live snake whole, a teacher walks into the room and asks Jackson if he wants to discuss his paper. Jackson appears to be a little stunned. I’m guessing cause he feels overly full or he’s secretly a vegetarian who’s just broken his food vow.

Scott’s taking up a make up test at school and his mum is “cleaning” aka raiding his room at home for clues on why her son is in so much trouble with the law and school. Mum finds something she wasn’t expecting. A 12 pack of ribbed condoms. Only one is left. So that answers the virginity question from the previous episode. Cherry – Popped.

And we’re back on Allison who is tracking Jackson, who walks into the boys locker room. Allison is about to go in there when camera boy who is obsessed with her walks out and starts immediately flirting with way too much ease at her. Clearly not reading the “She’s just not that into you signals” Allison is giving him with one her one word answers and looking anywhere but at him looks. She agrees to go on some sort of date with him on Friday night just to shut him up and get him away from her.

Allison walks into the boys locker room upon hearing an awkward sound made by Jackson. She calls out to him and he responds. Allison walks around in the locker room and walks in on a naked Jackson showering. She blushes and turns away. Jackson seems fine with it. More than fine as he goes into predator mode and comes over to her and insists they talk then and there.

As Jackson continues to intimidate Allison, he heartbeat races and Jackson can hear it and so it appears, can Scott from between who knows how many walls and bits of structure in the highschool between the science lab and the boys locker room.

As Scott bursts in Allison tries to tell him, she’s okay but Scott is not having any of it and finally we get to see something interesting, a fight between Scott and Jackson as they beat the crap out of each other and the boys locker room. As they spill out into the corridor, Erica restrains Jackson and Stiles restrains Scott. But not before Scott’s teacher from the make up test, busts them all.

As they’re getting busted, camera obsessed with Allison boy notices someone’s backpack spilled open on the floor and clearly feeling the need to riffle, picks up the tablet that is exposed from the back pack and starts to turn it on and view whatever is on it.

REALLY? we’re going with this tenious link? EVERYBODY FACE PALM NOW!

Of course he reads the info about the kanama that Allison has on there and of course, downloads it to email for himself. Invasion of privacy much? Before handing it back but the teacher grabs it off him. Everyone then gets detention.

Scott’s mum rocks up to the school and talks to Allison’s mum about their kids. Allison’s creepy mum delivers a great line about a girl with low standards going after Scott.

Back in the library Stiles is theorizing that Camera boy is Jackson’s controlling kanama master. When Jackson’s suddenly gets up needing to go to the bathroom, because he seems to have some pain from behind his eye.

As he goes to the little boys room, we watch as a snake, pushes it way out of Jackson’s eye socket spurting blood everywhere and horrifying Jackson who’s very much aware and awake of the whole thing happening! yay!! Scott is called to the principles office. But quite frankly I don’t care for the end of the episode, because it’s delivered far more in this episode than it has so far in the whole season, that’s been well worth watching.

I shall however, continue to finish the rest of the episode, in my next post 😉


Teen Wolf Season 2, Episode 4 – Get to the point.

July 18, 2012
2 Comments

“It’s a long story” says the vet when Scott asks him about how he knows about werewolves.

Yeah well that’s alright because clearly the produces of this TV show think they’re going to have a long run with this show.

When the vet tells Scott to find the documentation the Argent’s his girlfriend’s hunting family have on everything they’ve ever found, I think we just found out how monster of the week this show is going to go.

“In fact, killing may be its only purpose.” Really? A bit like this show. Killing my appreciation of what was a nice first season.

Cut to Stiles at the garage where his car is being fixed and we find a young, buff mechanic about to be stalked by the reptilian monster. But not before we find out that the mechanic used to play Lacrosse on the same team, Stiles now does.  As Stiles leaves the room, he puts his hand on a sticky clear substance on the door handle only to find out it’s the reptile monster’s way of paralysing his victims.

Stiles falls to the ground and the reptile monster thing, crawls down from his car to attack the mechanic. The monster disables the hydraulics holding the car up and as the mechanic falls on his back to the ground, the car hydraulics cause it to come down and crush the mechanic to death.  Right about the time Stiles manages to place a call to 911.

“What is your emergency?”

My emergency is the baneness of sitting through this.

Credits.

A scene of Derek letting his little beta wolf pack run a gauntlet in training.  He advises the beta’s to trying not being completely predictable as they keep getting smacked down. So Erica jumps him and starts kissing him madly.  Derek responds and then throws her down stating “That’s the last time you do that.”

Erica “Why?”

Derek “Because I’ve got someone else in mind for you.” That’s right sweetie, you’re being pimped out.  Welcome to your stupid decision to hook up with Derek Hale.

It turns out that Derek is not teaching the naive beta wolves skills to survive as he mysteriously intones, without saying it, that he might night be around much longer. Ohhhh. Seriously doubt that Derek, you’re too hot an annoying to die.

Next we move on to Lydia who doesn’t want to get out of bed, well haven’t we had one of those days?

Her mum rips the covers off her and we find her bed covers decorated in blood.  It appears Lydia, unknowingly has punched her fist into the mirror in her bedroom. Her knuckles and hand are all raw and bloody.

Her mum sends her off to the guidance counsellor at School who turns out to be Kendra from Buffy with very shiny, long hair and no Jamaican/Barbados accent. Boo. I loved the accent and I love Kendra!

More Scott and Stiles at school and stiles delivering the classic line “Because you know, you’re my best friend and a creature of the night.”

Praise be to Stiles. You keep me wanting more.

Stiles has been turned into a human messenger and he runs messages between our tragic romance duo Edward Scott and Bella Allison, back and forth until.  At one point paying homage to the great TV show The Wire by stating “You know, drug dealers have been successfully using burner phones for years.” In an effort to get her to use her cell phone to contact Scott instead of running Stiles into the ground.

Meanwhile Jackson is talking to his gay friend and insists for no apparent reason to us the viewer, that his friend watch the video tape he made of himself in his bedroom in the last episode.  This is the video tape that didn’t show him turning into a werewolf.

His friend replies “You want me, to watch a tape of you in your bedroom?”

Jackson “Yeah”

Friend “Remember all those times I told you weren’t my type.”  This gets Jackson upset. He wants to be a pretty boy.  He steps into his friends personal space and up close says “For your information, I am everybody’s type.”

Don’t worry Jackson, I’d do you badass self, even if the gay guy won’t.  Come to BG.

Turns out our Scooby doo trio – Stiles, Allison and Scott are trying to locate the mysterious book of beasts that they believe that, Allison’s intergalactic grandfather has.  A plan is put into motion. Allison will get the keys and distract her grand dad by taking him to a Lacrosse game.

Now we’re onto the Lacrosse game which is held, wow, how unusual, late a night on an almost pitch black field.  Jackson’s friend is there with the random photographer kid from their school who has the secret hots for Allison.

We discover that the tape of Jackson sleeping in his bed is missing two hours of footage because there is an editing loop on it.  Ohhh. Intriguing. WTF?

The opposition Lacrosse team have one player who is high tackling a lot of the guys on the Beacon Hills team and knocking them senselessly to the ground.

Jackson insists that Scott in all his teen wolf capacity go and take the guy out. To which our whipped Teen Wolf replies “I can’t, not in front of Allison’s grand dad.”

At which point I scream out “Pussy!”

Scott’s mum talks to the photograph kid and asks if he is the High school Yearbook photographer. He’s not.  He states he just takes pictures of “things that capture his eye” as he then scrolls through his stalker shots of Allison sitting in the stand at the Lacrosse game.

Allison gets the keys to her Grandfather’s office at the school and palms them off to Stiles, who as he is walking out to through the car park finds Lydia crying in her car.  He stops to ask her if she’s okay.

Lydia then says “Go away I don’t need for anyone to see me crying.”  Which then makes me wonder why the fuck is she in her car at the school car park with the interior car light on? Not that smart a girl after all.  And as it turns out – we don’t see her again for the remainder of the episode. So who fucking cares anyway?

Back on the Lacrosse field and the smack downs by “The Abomination” player continue.  The coach turns to the belchers and asks for anyone to step in and play as he is a player short.  Even though in our previous shot we saw two players sitting on the bench.  It’s just an excuse for the writers to bring back into play  our newly made beta werewolf Jacob.

Jacob gears up and goes onto the field and throws the abomination now extremely hard.  The crowd, not concerned at all for the welfare of what appears to be an unconscious player on the field, cheer wildly.  Jacob takes off his helmet and shows his werewolf glowing yellow eyes.

As the game continues Scott tries to tell Jacob he needs to stop because his werewolf eyes are showing and someone will see.

We all ignore the fact as do the editors of the show, that prior to him saying this, he had taken his helmet of and all but been exposed to showing the world those eyes.

Jacob plays on. What a shock, not.   Doesn’t matter anyway as Scott steals the ball off him and ends up doing what he is supposed to do as a normal lacrosse player, and scores the winning goal,  not using his Teen Wolf abilities at all.

I’m beginning to wonder what the point to being Teen Wolf is.

After the goal is scored, The opposition players bump Scott heavily and he fly’s backward awkwardly.  A loud crunch is heard as his leg angles backwards and is very clearly broken.

The crowd goes quiet and people run towards him.  Allison kneels of Scott as he tells her “I’m healing” but it’s not really fast enough as by the time he’s standing on his leg, the crowd is around him staring in disbelief.

Meanwhile all this is happening, Stiles is being dragged into the school pool area by Erica and interrogated by Derek on the reptilian monster.   Of course, there is no reason for Derek to be so hostile towards Stiles regarding this, or any reason for Derek to really be interested in this monster, other than it just poses as another threat in the world.  But that’s a fairly lame excuse really.

But talking about monsters of course, makes them appear. Yawn.  The reptilian monster goes after them all. Derek gets stung in the neck with the paralyser goo and falls into the pool.

Stiles, yet again paired with Derek, dives into the pool and again, saves Derek from a certain death by drowning.

It goes on for quite a while, but basically Stiles and Derek are trapped constantly in the pool the whole time Scott is on the Lacrosse field and then having been invited by Allison’s grandfather to dinner at her family house, much to the displeasure of her parents.

Eventually we discover that the thing the actual episode is about,  – finding the monster book that tells us what the reptilian monster is on a usb stick the grandfather has which is on a set of keys that Stiles, which are at, you guessed, it, the School.  Where Stiles is attempting to keep himself and Derek afloat in the pool while the reptilian monster circles them constantly from the poolside.

Yeah, all that for just this point.  After Stiles and everyone get the usb and look at it, we discover that Derek, actually has known all along what the monster is and that its basically and “abomination” of whatever the hell it’s meant to be.  Queue Derek being moody and his exit from the episode.

Yeah that’s right, Derek is now done with any actual purpose and with harassing either Stiles or Scott and so he walks off.

Cut to Scott outside his mother’s car at the hospital and suddenly Allison’s grandfather is there, shoving a knife into Scott’s gut and leaning in on it, telling him that he knows about him and that he has no problem pretending to be a nice man one moment and stabbing him the next.

Our end shots sees Scott’s mum on the opposite side of the car, unaware of Scott’s stabbing.  Scott replies “I’m fine.” And we watch blood drops fall and fall until a lot of blood fills our screen.  Fade to Red.

The amount of crap that is getting put into each episode seems like they’re trying to make this all rather epic but it’s just like having to sort through junk before you get to the actual point of the episode and the things you want to see in this show.


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