A Werewolf Blog in Brooklyn

The standard, has been set.

August 26, 2009
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The Standard, is a “unique” hotel in New York.—-> HIGH LINE HOTEL ENCOURAGES NUDE CLIENTELE

Maybe ‘someone’ spent a little to long in were-wolf ‘friendly’ clubs during lunar weeks. And got a little restless and impatient with the whole having to wait till lunar week kicks in, for themselves to get their kicks.

Seems it’s taken a year now, for the media to truly tune in to what they can no longer ignore in the appropriately entitled “meat packing” district.

The New York Post reports  about how hotel guests and staff are encouraged to nude up, and well, fuck up, as it were, against the floor to ceiling windows of the hotel.  For their own sexual exhibitionism pleasure. As well as others, one would think.

I can tell you right now, whilst I don’t frequent The Standard I do know many a were-wolf who goes there.

It’s about as good as it gets for those of us when we want to be with Nons.

Because you know, whilst were-wolves are encouraged to be with others of their kind for pack structure, growth, survival and blah blah blah.  There are still those amongst the Breukelen and other wolf packs I’m sure, that prefer the company of Nons in a sexual playing ground.

The Standard kind of, uh, opens up doors for both sides of New Yorkers.  Non-’s get to play with were-wolves; were-wolves get to have sex with them.  Everybody gets something.

You know we have a name for people like that.

Scruffies.

Non-’s who deliberately seek out were-wolves for sex, even when not during lunar weeks.

But more often than not you’ll hear some one refer to them as

Coyote Ugly, Paradoxes, furry fuckers, PETA lovers, Omega’s, screechers, Skin coats, Skin walkers, howlers, beef chow mein and beasts. Non-’s prefer to call themselves  “Coat warmers” when talking about getting their furry freak on.

Yes believe it or not there are those with furry inclined fetishes.  Because if you haven’t guessed it, were-wolf sex, is the best.

Don’t knock it till you’ve knocked boots with it.

Lol.


Beloved wolf

August 24, 2009
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Aimme asked me what my wolf was called.

Noticed that I spoke of the werewolf part of me like ‘she’ is a second person.  I told her, the wolf isn’t so much a second person as another aspect of me. Part of my personality, not really, more like part of my genetic biology.  You know, that part of you that you can’t fight, never get a say in, that makes you up into who you are.

Yes my wolf, does have a name, it’s a Breukelen name that was given to me when I first shape shifted.

My wolf’s name means Beloved. I was given my name for obvious reasons, mum and dad wanted me to know above all else that I was loved, even if I wasn’t from their tribal lines.

Everyone in my family has  a Breukelen name.

We all get names given to us upon the first time we shape shift.

Some were-wolves are able to shape shift from birth. In particular Alpha’s. They end up knowing no different because it’s so inherent in them.  So second nature to them, even as pups.

But Beta were-wolves like me tend to shape shift some time in the first five years of our birth.   Sometimes, it can even take as long as puberty before the whole ability really kicks in and gets sorted out.

Just depends I guess.

Being a were wolf isn’t exactly an exact thing.

We are tactile in our being and instinctual in our behaviour.

We have no say in being a were-wolf when the lunar week hits.  Any other time, we can at least feel like we have a sense of control and understanding of what we’ve been lumped with.


Contending

August 21, 2009
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Family, you can’t live with them you can’t disown them.

Well, you can actually. And I do, live with them, that is. Some of them. Bodil and Aksel live out of home and Markus is barely ever around.  So really it’s just me, Joss, Dad and Annabeth.

But sometimes, even that’s too much.  Let me tell you having genetics that make you part animal, make you feel part animal at times. Like you’re caged by the walls that shelter you at home.  By the people that protect you.

Being half-breed sure gives meaning to sensation of restlessness, of needing space.  Normal life intrudes all the time and you can’t focus on anything else, because you can’t escape the cover of normalacy that keeps your life in order, your identity secret. Your safety in check by it’s mundane rules and expectations that you go through the regular moitions of what you must because you must.

Maybe I’m just pissed off cause in a couple of days it’ll be my birthday. I dunno, I’ve never really enjoyed my birthday.

Then again, were-wolves feel things when there’s no lunar cycle, I mean, part of us is always the wolf, deep, deep down inside. Just lunar weeks make it all incredibly more real.  I guess I don’t really acknowledge my wolf when its not a lunar week. I keep her at bay a lot of the time.

Part of that whole secret identity thing I’ve had to deal with my whole life, balancing who you are versus what you are, making you in the end, who you contend with.


By the third night

August 5, 2009
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Third night of the lunar week. New Moon in da house, you know what this means?

Didn’t think so..let me explain, it’s like another world at night. For us.

It’s not just a case of me shaking up with Conall for a week, having wild animal sex and us shape shifting at the end of each night into wolf form.  That would be one, very, basic, description of it.  But I’d be leaving out a lot of detail if I said that was all there was too it.

Like I said, there is a werewolf club scene in New York for good reason.  We need somewhere to go, to be together otherwise you’d have feral, were-wolves on the loose, on every street around every corner terrorizing people for a week, every month of the year.  It’d be like anarchy.  We’d get policed or worse.

And If you think werewolves wouldn’t attack humans, think again.

Sure, the were-wolf culture has come a long way from being just mindless monsters that Hollywood would have you believe are cursed and without control over themselves or the matter.  We’re not cursed. But we have to live and work in a society that doesn’t fully understand us or even truly know we exist.  So it’s a fine line that our lives balance on, seemingly all the time.  Attacks do happen, even now-a-days. But they’re less than they used to be, because Packs around the country have been guiding us for years.

The truth is, lunar week affects all werewolves differently, and it can vary depending on circumstances. But mostly, there is a pattern of what you can expect to happen to you and you figure out what works best for you during the lunar week.

The first three nights leading up to the new moon phase, are bearable enough. Hell, for the first two nights, I don’t have to shift.  But my body gets little wants too. Conall has to shift every night of the lunar week. So most of the time I do to, rather than him do it alone. Fighting a shift, can make it so much more painful than it needs to be.  Sure I only feel it for a brief time. But it feels like eternity when you’re being torn apart and re-born from the inside out, fast. So I don’t fight it.  Conall does more often than not, especially if I’m not around. For me, I can still feel the after affects the next day if I do try and fight shifting, or holding it off.  It’s happened before.  It’s why I now routinely book myself in for a regular massage after lunar week.

But by the third night, well, I loose choice in the matter. After that every night of the lunar week is a shape shifting night.

When I said our emotions and sensations were heightened, I wasn’t kidding. This includes hunger. You can crave things, like, ravenously crave them.  Like your body will crazy without them.

For most were-wolves it becomes about blood and meat. Red meat.  So being around my dear friend Aimee or any other non friends at this time, is fairly dangerous. After all, I can smell her scent and hear her heat beat and if she has an open cut on her body, like a paper cut, I would be able to smell her blood.

I’ve never drank human blood, but I’ve had it described it to me once, by someone. It sounded like they had a drinking problem.  Because they hadn’t been able to stop. Didn’t stop.

When a werewolf drinks blood, it’s not all high tea and dainty, fine china cups. It’s more like teeth tearing muscle, cracking bone and burying your face into the meat till your snout and face are covered in it.  And yeah, there was a part of me that found that exciting to hear.

That’s like waving a red flag in front of a bull and taunting it.

Hmm, I guess I see why Hollywood makes us out to be monsters. But really, I think it’s more a primal urge that gets played on us.

The urgency the werewolf inside me has to go for that blood, that fresh meat, could be enough for me to forget who she is to me.  To loose control over what I know I can normally control, through my routine habits on lunar week.

So I try to stick to what I know. To do what does work.

To enjoy what I can without fear of hurting someone. I mean, it’s already enough that I have to get through all this stuff and function in society at the same time. I mean I still have to interact with my neighbors, workmates and the like.

On the flip side, I also stick to my known and trusted routine and pack mates, because there are those humans that do know about werewolves.  That would try and harm us, take advantage of us for fun, fetish or other circumstances.

It’s a hell of a lot harder to do if they can’t infiltrate your world and be a part of it.  So it’s for my own protection as much as that of my friends like Aimee, when I do my thing with Conall.

Learnt my lesson on that one, pack is life.


Last night

August 4, 2009
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Last night, I was desperate to feel his body with mine.

We’d gotten out of the club and we couldn’t wait, didn’t stay as long as we normally would.

Because as the moon gets fuller during the lunar week, we get more affected.

Our sense of control gets inched out further and further.  Till you’re barely holding self control together.  Well, those of us that fight it, test the limits, it’s like that. Till you can barely stand to function, without just caving in to whatever it is your wolf desires, early release, insatiable hunger, lust. Take your pick.

It prickles at your skin and itches your scalp and makes you sweat profusely as you try to fight your hold on having some time, in this world. Keeping the hours at bay until you have no choice but to shift.

“Need to breath the same air as me.”

His voice was husky and getting gravellier.

We were racing the clock down.

Something we do, sometimes, as it gets deeper into the week of wickedness.

Not much longer till the obvious changes would start kicking in and we would have no control and choice but to shift shape.

Let the were-wolves out.

Hands on each other, roughly pulling. Clothing got torn as he lifted my legs up around his waist.  I felt his hips dig in. My back against the cool wall. My skin felt relieved, against it, my chest,  feverish against his.

It’s all about touch for were-wolves, we need to feel each other.

Skin to skin, heat and heartbeat, we pulse.

It’s like white noise, you hear nothing but it when you’re in sync with one another.

When it’s so deeply intense, as it with Conall.

When it’s all you can focus on.

When it’s all that you know, will sate your wolf and make the shift far more bearable.

We moved quickly, eagerly and I clung to him, entangling our bodies and racing, as hard and fast as we could. Surrendering to the sensation.

His face hovered above mine.

His breath panted, danced, heatedly across my mouth as he said

“is leath díom tú”

Before consuming me in a kiss that I got lost in, bathed in the light of the Brooklyn moon.


Rough night

August 2, 2009
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Rough night, last night.

Ha.

Literally.

I threw Conall against a wall.

His bare back hit it with a thud. You could hear the sound of skin hitting wall clearly.

To a mere mortal, the force of the blow would have winded them, severely. Possibly dislocated a shoulder socket, even, that’s how hard I threw him.

Lunar week and the body automatically knows it.

But he can take it too, since we’re all affected when Lunar week kicks in.

“Abilities” if you want to call them that, are doubled for the week.

It must be what it feels like to be wonder woman for a moment or two.

Which also means, feelings, sensations, moods and the like are heightened also.

Which means Conall feels what I feel too.

He responded in kind by grabbing my hair at the back of my head and yanking me, almost off my feet, into him.

“Now, let’s get this thing straight.”

He was breathing heavy and glistening in sweat.

I wanted to lick him he smelt so sweet.

His eyes were drilling into me.

The moon was on the rise, we were both feeling it.

He warped his hand up further in my hair, tightening his hold.

There comes a certain point in the night when the shift claims us and our animal forms will surface.

We only have a few hours before that happens.

A few hours.

A few hours to have some fun.

So I said through clenched teeth

“If you want to play this game, then take notes. Because I will win.”

Ah, Lunar week, let the moon madness begin.


We go clubbing

July 30, 2009
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I told you it was on the first of what’s likely to be forever.

Hmmm.

Obviously there is a lot to talk about, mucho ground to cover.

Aimee want’s to be informed so she can understand where I’m coming from.

I am truly lucky that Aimee’s my friend and she chose to be understanding to get over her initial reaction of anger and hurt and realize there was more to it than the simple fact I’d been keeping my secret from her.

I did say that to her too.

She’s already asking me about Lunar week, the how, the why, the me and Conall sitch, can she meet him?

Can she join me at one of the wolf clubs?

Right.

As if.

No way I’d let her near a wolf club.

Why wouldn’t I let her near a club you ask? Simple.

It’s freak her the shit out.

Seriously, it’d freak most Non-’s out.  I don’t know what I was thinking the first time I invited her out. Clearly, I wasn’t. It’s not the smartest move, ever.

Hell, sometimes it can freak me out (depending on which club we end up in, they can be so very, very, different).  The clubs are our safe havens and we’re free to express and explore.  To enjoy and indulge.

It’s not that the clubs suddenly turn into sex clubs or the like. But they’re a lot more liberating for urban were-wolves than you’d suspect. It was an ingenious idea that got crafted a long time ago.  A way for urban were-wolves to deal with the moon heat, moon madness and lunar week.

All three things can individually affect us and are by their names alone, very different.

See, if you’re a country wolf, or you can get time out of your real life for a week, every month of the year, you can plan to go country and deal that way.  It’s easier for our country counterparts.  There’s open land to run around in, lush landscapes to roam and get lost in.  The country’s a very ideal place to be. A hell of a lot less chance of being seen, although by comparison, risk of getting hunted, can be higher.

So as the were-wolf population of generations past, grew and moved further into cities, matter’s had to be dealt with in a whole new light.

Hence, lunar week at the nightclubs.

The various wew-wolf “friendly” clubs set up around New York, make a killing, let me tell you.  Figuratively speaking. We spend all our spare time in these clubs because we can, because we need to, because it’s safe, it’s secluded and it beneficial. It helps us out. We’re highly sexed creatures.

Like I said before, there are rules that govern packs.

You can’t just go around shape shifting in public, in the open where someone can see you, for a few reasons, but the biggest one being, when we shift, we loose ourselves.

So you’d want to hope the wolf is in control when it comes too. That it’s been satisfied and sated accordingly.  You don’t want an upset angry were-wolf, with emotions of badass, transmorphing tenfold. It’s likely to lead to an attack on a human.

You can’t have one way out of control and out of their mind were-wolf, running around screwing stuff up for the rest of us.

Especially when the rest of us have worked so hard to fit in, have a normal a life as possible.

So we go clubbing.  Burn up the energy, sate the mind, and fill the senses. It helps with the shifting that we have to face as the moon get’s fuller each night of the lunar week.


Because it’s tribal

July 29, 2009
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Lunar week is approaching, so I’ve spoken to Aimee and told her why I do my little routine, so she understands something about me.

That is to say I avoid her and my non friends and I go native, with just the Breukelen. We hit the clubs because it’s tribal and gives us a sense of freedom if we’re amongst our own.

We’re asked to deal with this thing put upon us, from birth and this is how we deal.

It’s evolved into us all creating this amazing atmosphere in the clubs for a week. It’s not always about sex, but it is about feeling.  A communal sense of who we are and it’s something, let me tell you, its hot, sweaty, sticky and sweet and rough.

It’s soaking and contagious and wanting and filled with desire.

It’s amazing, to say the least.

Get a room full of were-wolves in heat and you can’t help but be affected!  It’s sexy, sensual and essential to the core of what you need, want and lust for.

Try to imagine that when Lunar weeks happen, the moon affects everything in our physical, psychological make up. EVERYTHING.

Feelings are doubled amped up. Sensations are quadrupled. Especially at night when we’re affected the most.

Think of it like this, if you can. You’re horny, you’re feeling desperate for release. Now imagine that feeling maxed out for a good twelve hours or more but you have to go to your job and do whatever it is you do in real life.

In the day time,  we’re still affected, imagine you have to concentrate on not letting waves of pleasure shake you. Imagine you have to pretend, everything is fine and normal, because life goes on around you and expects you to behave!

But most of us have been taught ways to cope.

To concentrate on keeping everything, under control. But at night, it’s a different story. The night is ours  and we embrace it.

We play in it’s moonlight and we cave in to whatever we crave before the animal inside us, tears its way out of our skin, no longer content to sit back and let the human it wears, drive us.

Utter release, true freedom, with a howl.


Welcome to my life

July 29, 2009
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You know it gets tricky when you’re censored on certain bits of information and you can only speak about half of the stuff you’d really like to explain.

 

Welcome to my life.

Life in the Breukelen Pack. Pack’s have structure, guidance, rules to govern behavior by.  And of course with those processes in place, there is punishment for disobedience and disregard of them.

In New York City, it’s not a complete secret, just not publicly, widely acknowledged in the open, that there are five wolf packs. I come from the Breukelen, in Brooklyn, the third biggest of the five.  

In having Aimee find out….about…me, us, them…all of it, it means I need to explain some things to her. It means she has questions and curiosities that she wants to know about and possibly a thing or two, that she needs to know about the whole sitch.

So what do I tell her? After all, I want to be honest, but I don’t want to freak her out any further.

After all, my first answer to her reaction upon finding out that I can dislocate my jaw and grow fur, was not a warm and fuzzy one. I said it was about self preservation and I wasn’t lying.  All wolves, when pushed or threatened immediately have a response to defend ourselves, to go on the attack rather than be attacked. It’s highly instinctual and very much a part of being a werewolf. When you have to carry a secret that your life depends on in some way, you will do what you must to be able to live your life, as freely as possible.

Of course, what you consider freedom, might vary to other opinions. Hence why there are “Lone Wolves”.

What’s a lone wolf?

Okay, that one I can answer.

Pretty much what it sounds like, a single wolf without a pack. Who does not live in a pack structured environment and therefore has no regard for rules or regulations. They do as they please, when they please, however they please.  Lone wolves can very much upset the carefully crafted balance of a pack structure. It’s why they’re not encouraged. Why they’re looked down upon by were-wolves. 

So what am I allowed to tell her about this new world she’s only just opened her eyes to?

Only certain bits, the bits that my Alpha and father has approved for me to speak of.  So I have to start my next conversation piece with Aimee saying, please understand I don’t want to be dishonest with you, but I can’t tell you everything there is to know about my life. I just can’t.

Yeah, that’ll go down well, right.  Isn’t that as bad as lying? Like why bother saying anything if she’s still not going to have enough information to satisfy things between us?

Well, I guess it comes back to, this isn’t really about her, it’s about me.

Self preservation.

So does knowing or not knowing all this stuff about me, affect where I stand in her life?

Why would it?

Yes, I have questions of my own too.  Ah, let the head tripping commence.

Like I said, welcome to my life.


Question

July 28, 2009
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So it doesn’t stop there.

Aimee’s established with me that she’s okay about, things, about us. We can still be friends.

But there are questions, more questions.

Always, with the questions.

She was just being respectful of me considering the news I’d had to deliver that I’m part pet, as well as human.

Her first question to me, was is Lycanthropy a disease?

I say it’s Hollywood’s attempt at movie magic to elicit sympathy for it’s characters. Honestly not trying to be trivial here. But explaining something as ingrained as your identity to someone is hard.

As far as I’m aware of, maybe it started out that way, but from what I’ve always been told and read about it, it’s a gene.  A “were”gene. Which has evolved and now somewhere along the lines, the gene has started to regress again.

Because birth rates amongst were-wolves are lower than previous decades.  Yes, were-wolves it would appear, are a dying breed, so to speak.

If current birthing trends continue, we will be just another race that breeds out.

Means, I guess, that the only wolves then around, aren’t shape shifters, they are natural born wolves.  Just wolves that are animals, you know the ones you see in the wild.

I don’t find it easy to talk about all this stuff, especially when her curiosity just makes me feel like a freak show.

So more Q& A’s later, some other time.


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